A9406048 (A1)

What did you choose your major------2nd version
My major is chemical engineering，I have (study)=> studied it for 7 years (thus)=>so far, (five years establish school and two years establish school.)==>??? In the middle of (this)==these 7 years, I (wanna give up)==>wanted to give it up. (I thanks for that my classmates help me in my lessons, let me not to leave school.)==>Thanks to my classmates' help in my study, I did not drop out of the school.
(I want to go to the art school after graduated from junior high school, because I have interesting in drawing. A forte one is sepecially good at art since I was a children)==>I wanted to go to an art school after graduating from junior high school because I had been interested in drawing ever since I was a child. My teacher (was to support)==>supported me to go to an art school. But my parent said: No!! They think (thought) that it can (could) not be my job. (And the major cause of)==>The major reason why I could not go to an art school was that the art school tuition is (was) very expensive.
So I have to change my aim to be an average high school student. (I study hard after stay in class at home time)==>???, I hope that I can (matriculate)==>be admitted to a great school. But I did bad on the entrance exam, (my parents were letdown to)==>and my parents were disappointed at me. (And they hope me to go to the five years establish school, they think it’s better for me.)==>Because of the concern of my future, they thought it would be better for me to go to a five-year college. (So)==>That was why I entrance Mingchi University Of Technology. (It’s the 王永慶established school.)==>It is one of the schools that were established by the famous entrpreneur, 王永慶. My parents (think about that I can find the great jobs)==thought that I could find a great job after I graduated from this school. (And my grades just can distribute me to chemical engineering departmentalism.)==>My grades in the entrance exam could only allow me to enter the Department of Chemical Engineering.
(A experience of that five years, let me learning)==>Five-year study at Ming-Chi made me learn a lot of things about life. (In twice sandwich courses, I learned some different people at different degree.)==>??? And I (appreciated)=>? what is important for life.
(As matter of course)==>??? I (matriculate)==>was admitted to NTUST after graduated (graduating) from MUT. I (not conditioned)==>did not get used to NTUST’s instruction in the first year, so I (within an ace of leave school)==>almost dropped out of the school. (It’s cause me loss ardor of study, I doubt me that I don’t like study.)==>It was because I lost ardor of studying. I doubted that I did not like studying anymore. Chemical engineering (including a lot of discipline,)==>includes a lot of subjects and I didn’t do well in anything. So I always get (got) bad grades, and my best grades is :Chinese!!
I will graduate from (here)==>NTUST this June. I (attended)==>took three graduate school tests in March this year, if I could not (matriculate)=>enter any schools, I will finish my military service first and (I can think what is I wanted during soldiering)==>think about what I will do during my military service.


***You talked a lot of things related to the choice of your major. It would be better that you come up with a topic sentence in the beginning to organize the major points that are reated to the topic. Actually you can delete some parts that are not relevant to the topic to make your paragraph more unified (整體性).