Assignment 1 : Why did I choose the Computer science?
Computer is attractive, and I think it is the main reason (to let me)==>why I major in computer science. When I was a 5-year child, there were some computers at home, and they were my older brother's. In (At) that time, computer was still a rare tools (tool) for common families. I usually saw my brother what he did in front of a computer. Therefore, I had an impression about what computer was.
During my learning about computer, there have (were) other reasons to let me decide to major in computer science. First, computer is useful for my future life. After I experienced PC-games, the Internet, HTML……and so forth, I thought they are interesting and useful, and computer will be more powerful in the future. Just like the search engine and the messenger, it brings us the convenience in our lives. Therefore, if I can learn about the techniques about computer, just like database or network, maybe I will develop new software to let people (feel more efficient)==>work more efficiently. Second, computer is one of the most important tools in our lives. In the world, there are more and more people entering the area of computer. If I have the professional knowledge about computer, I can have an advantageous position in the society and follow the evolution of the modern life. Finally, computer have lots of possibilities in the future. We can see that there are more and more movies about lots of new techniques about computer, just like "the 6th day". If we pay more times (time) to research the computer, we might develop the technique just like the movie has displayed. It's a cool dream, isn't it?
Now I'm a sophomore in the department of CSIE and have learned some professional courses (knowledge). I think I will continue to major in Computer Science. I hope that I can have a powerful (superior) ability to (for) programming or designing. After all, computer science is the major (subject) what I wanted (want) to learn during my life.
***Your reasoning is clear; however, you should pay attention to grammar and word usage to make your ideas clearer.
2007年4月27日 星期五
B9415002 (A1)
Why did you choose your major?
After I graduated from high school in Paraguay, the country from where I come from, I remembered the big problem which I was involved in. At that moment I really wasn’t (was not) sure about the career that I wanted to choose, so I started to search a lot of information about careers and universities and two months later my decision was made: my mayor will be Computer Science and Information Engineering. At that moment I could not imagine that one year and a half later I would choose (the same one more time)==>???what do you mean by that? but this time…far, far away from home.
Computer Science and Information Engineering is the mayor (major) that I chose two times for reasons that are related with the actual situation of my country. In Paraguay, the field of computer science is still in its beginnings (infancy) and I felt that technology will be indispensable for its development, so I think that Paraguay, and other countries in the same situation, needs professionals in the technological field in order to start the changing (developing) process. In other words, I think that today the progress of those countries is in the hands of the technology.
After I graduated from high school in Paraguay, the country from where I come from, I remembered the big problem which I was involved in. At that moment I really wasn’t (was not) sure about the career that I wanted to choose, so I started to search a lot of information about careers and universities and two months later my decision was made: my mayor will be Computer Science and Information Engineering. At that moment I could not imagine that one year and a half later I would choose (the same one more time)==>???what do you mean by that? but this time…far, far away from home.
Computer Science and Information Engineering is the mayor (major) that I chose two times for reasons that are related with the actual situation of my country. In Paraguay, the field of computer science is still in its beginnings (infancy) and I felt that technology will be indispensable for its development, so I think that Paraguay, and other countries in the same situation, needs professionals in the technological field in order to start the changing (developing) process. In other words, I think that today the progress of those countries is in the hands of the technology.
B9409053 (A1)
Why did you choose your major ?
What reason makes me choose my major? I think it should (speak of)==>be traced back to my childhood. When I was a child, my mom bought a computer one day, and she used it to process the data of work. I felt cool (due to the computer could not see everywhere)==>because i is not easy to see a computer everywhere at that time . Mom teached (taught) me what (is the computer)==>what the computer was and how to use it, and this is my first time to touch the computer. I felt the computer is very (funny since I played the first computer games)==>interesting the first time I played computer games. So to speak, the computer (is accompany the growth of mine)==>accompanied the growth of my life. After I graduated from junior high school, I studied in a vocational high school as my entrance exam's grades were not good. I chose Data Processing to be my major, because it is (was) the department that I felt more interested in. I learned many specialized courses and skills like computer science and a series of Office. [[I touched them before; therefore, I felt interesting and easy to realize them]]==>Because I had learned them before so I found them interesting and easy to understand. During the period of study, I got some certificates about computerized and commercial subjects. It makes (made) me feel happy and proud, and I think (thought) I didn't make a wrong choice before. In the third year of my senior high school, I make (made) up of my mind to study the computer science further at the university. So I tried to study hard in the last year. Now, I am a student of NTUST and my major is Information Management. I still believe my choice is right even though some courses make me feel boring (bored) or uninteresting (uninterested), because this is my choice, I will try my best in this domain.
What reason makes me choose my major? I think it should (speak of)==>be traced back to my childhood. When I was a child, my mom bought a computer one day, and she used it to process the data of work. I felt cool (due to the computer could not see everywhere)==>because i is not easy to see a computer everywhere at that time . Mom teached (taught) me what (is the computer)==>what the computer was and how to use it, and this is my first time to touch the computer. I felt the computer is very (funny since I played the first computer games)==>interesting the first time I played computer games. So to speak, the computer (is accompany the growth of mine)==>accompanied the growth of my life. After I graduated from junior high school, I studied in a vocational high school as my entrance exam's grades were not good. I chose Data Processing to be my major, because it is (was) the department that I felt more interested in. I learned many specialized courses and skills like computer science and a series of Office. [[I touched them before; therefore, I felt interesting and easy to realize them]]==>Because I had learned them before so I found them interesting and easy to understand. During the period of study, I got some certificates about computerized and commercial subjects. It makes (made) me feel happy and proud, and I think (thought) I didn't make a wrong choice before. In the third year of my senior high school, I make (made) up of my mind to study the computer science further at the university. So I tried to study hard in the last year. Now, I am a student of NTUST and my major is Information Management. I still believe my choice is right even though some courses make me feel boring (bored) or uninteresting (uninterested), because this is my choice, I will try my best in this domain.
B9409026 (A1)
why did you choose your major(3rd)
The reason why I choose (chose) my major is interst. I remember when I was a high school student, I just (study and study)==>studied day and night for going to a better school. I have no time to think about the future, but when I finished the test (entrance exam) , I think it's time (I thought it was time) to think that carefully. Then I (go to the wide)==>surfed on the World Wide Web to find some information to understand what majors are (belong to)==>suitable for me. And I found a place (which are teach computer, that make me want to learn computer)==>where I could learn using computer, so I decided to tell my parents that I wanted to leran that. But my parents didn't agree to (with) it, because the prices is (were) too expense. I was very disappointed to hear what they said. (This reason make)==>Their reply made me to choose this major because I really wanted to to know how to use computer. After a long summer vacation, I (enter to information manegement)==>was admitted to the Department of Information Management of the National Taiwan University of Science and Technology. I have learned many things about computer from my major. [[in all I've learn]]==>Among what I have learned, I like programming most, because I feel that writing a program is very intersting; I can creat a program to run waht I want to. So this is another reason why I choose my major, and I believe my choose (choice) is right.
***Although you say that you chose your major due to interest; however, in the main body you do not let the readers to see this point clearly. You do indicate the point at the end but you say that it is "another reason." You may want to reorganize your paragraph to make your main point clearer.
The reason why I choose (chose) my major is interst. I remember when I was a high school student, I just (study and study)==>studied day and night for going to a better school. I have no time to think about the future, but when I finished the test (entrance exam) , I think it's time (I thought it was time) to think that carefully. Then I (go to the wide)==>surfed on the World Wide Web to find some information to understand what majors are (belong to)==>suitable for me. And I found a place (which are teach computer, that make me want to learn computer)==>where I could learn using computer, so I decided to tell my parents that I wanted to leran that. But my parents didn't agree to (with) it, because the prices is (were) too expense. I was very disappointed to hear what they said. (This reason make)==>Their reply made me to choose this major because I really wanted to to know how to use computer. After a long summer vacation, I (enter to information manegement)==>was admitted to the Department of Information Management of the National Taiwan University of Science and Technology. I have learned many things about computer from my major. [[in all I've learn]]==>Among what I have learned, I like programming most, because I feel that writing a program is very intersting; I can creat a program to run waht I want to. So this is another reason why I choose my major, and I believe my choose (choice) is right.
***Although you say that you chose your major due to interest; however, in the main body you do not let the readers to see this point clearly. You do indicate the point at the end but you say that it is "another reason." You may want to reorganize your paragraph to make your main point clearer.
B9409024 (A1)
Why did you choose your major?
The primary reason why I chose my major was that I didn't think over carefully and [[afraid of making the result making decisions.]]==>??? are afraid of the consequences of making the decisioin by myself.
I don't like the department of information management now. At vocational high school, for example, my scores of " introduction to computer science" wasn't (were not) perfect, I (often was)=>was often punished to correct the exam paper two times, but there are (were) a lot of exam papers, so I couldn't finish it. It let me feel discouraged. I chose to cop out and purposely ignored it. [[The third of high school, for another example is that whenever I had some questions, I asked the teacher the answer. One time as usual I wanted to leave after asking the questions, the teacher knitting told me why I always ask such a simple questions. Ever after I didn't ask the questions and like it at all. ]]==>I do not quite understand this part. Do you want to say that one of your teacher's reaction to your questionning discouraged you? At that time I transferred my concentration to other subjects, [[but not any subject has specially performance.]]==>??? After listening to my friend's words, I had just found that my accounting grade is better than (any classmate)==>the other classmates in my class. For the reason, I spent much time studying it. For instance I could abidingly spent five hours practicing the questions of the reference book on Sunday. I also paid great attention to the learning of accounting on (in) class. Absolutely, the grades of the subject was (were) not bad and I love it as well.
After the exam (what kind of exam?) was hold, it was time to fill out the application, my father suggested me to choose the department of information management because he felt that the development of it in the future was good. However, I thought the department related to commerce or English was my interest [[for my English was poor, I worried about my living fee if I had chosen another department.]]==>I do not get it. Please elaborate on this part to make it clearer. Besides, I didn't care the decision at the moment, (I don't know the effect of the decision is so great)==>??? . Finally I accepted my father's advice.
(At Unvi it's unhappy for me to learn)==>I do not feel happy in learning programming language such as C and C#. I don't understand the logic of the programming language and (realize it without the desire)==>do not have any desire for learnig it. Now I just realize that (the suggestion of other you can make a reference)==>you can only take others' suggestons for reference, the most important, you must listen to the voice in your mind to know what you really want. It's your future, no one can help you meet the future (of all)==>at all, or you will have the same situation like me to spend four years miserably studying the department that you don't like.
It's a golden age to study your major during the age of university, if you decide the right decision, you will live a replete life.
***"don't, it's, wan't , didn't" are considered infomal. In formal writing, they should prsented as do not, it is, was not, did not.
The primary reason why I chose my major was that I didn't think over carefully and [[afraid of making the result making decisions.]]==>??? are afraid of the consequences of making the decisioin by myself.
I don't like the department of information management now. At vocational high school, for example, my scores of " introduction to computer science" wasn't (were not) perfect, I (often was)=>was often punished to correct the exam paper two times, but there are (were) a lot of exam papers, so I couldn't finish it. It let me feel discouraged. I chose to cop out and purposely ignored it. [[The third of high school, for another example is that whenever I had some questions, I asked the teacher the answer. One time as usual I wanted to leave after asking the questions, the teacher knitting told me why I always ask such a simple questions. Ever after I didn't ask the questions and like it at all. ]]==>I do not quite understand this part. Do you want to say that one of your teacher's reaction to your questionning discouraged you? At that time I transferred my concentration to other subjects, [[but not any subject has specially performance.]]==>??? After listening to my friend's words, I had just found that my accounting grade is better than (any classmate)==>the other classmates in my class. For the reason, I spent much time studying it. For instance I could abidingly spent five hours practicing the questions of the reference book on Sunday. I also paid great attention to the learning of accounting on (in) class. Absolutely, the grades of the subject was (were) not bad and I love it as well.
After the exam (what kind of exam?) was hold, it was time to fill out the application, my father suggested me to choose the department of information management because he felt that the development of it in the future was good. However, I thought the department related to commerce or English was my interest [[for my English was poor, I worried about my living fee if I had chosen another department.]]==>I do not get it. Please elaborate on this part to make it clearer. Besides, I didn't care the decision at the moment, (I don't know the effect of the decision is so great)==>??? . Finally I accepted my father's advice.
(At Unvi it's unhappy for me to learn)==>I do not feel happy in learning programming language such as C and C#. I don't understand the logic of the programming language and (realize it without the desire)==>do not have any desire for learnig it. Now I just realize that (the suggestion of other you can make a reference)==>you can only take others' suggestons for reference, the most important, you must listen to the voice in your mind to know what you really want. It's your future, no one can help you meet the future (of all)==>at all, or you will have the same situation like me to spend four years miserably studying the department that you don't like.
It's a golden age to study your major during the age of university, if you decide the right decision, you will live a replete life.
***"don't, it's, wan't , didn't" are considered infomal. In formal writing, they should prsented as do not, it is, was not, did not.
B9303045 (A1)
Why did you choose your major?
[[I major in mechanical engineering, because it interests me, and the other reason is my sisters are working at the kind of mechanical companies. Besides, I want to learn more about something that relate to mechanic.]]==>It would be better that you can write a topic sentence to include the three reasons in the above. I have two sisters (going into the job that relate to mechanic just)==>who had a job that was related to mechanical engineering like mechanical drawing and mold drawing since (when) I was in junior high school. They told me that their career (jobs) had stable income, and if you were excellent in the job, you would not worry about the problem of unemployment, they were (actual)==>life examples. (Then, they affected me, so)==>Under the influence of them, I chose drafting department at industrial vocational high school. At first, I was worried about that whether it was my interest, because I had never contacted drafting really. But fortunately, after (learnt three years)==>three year's study, I understood that mechanical drawing more and more, (just like)==>such as how to draw with different perspectives, and how to use the software to design a produce (product), etc. It let me feel great when I succeeded in designing a produce (product). Hence, I was sure it was my interest, and I decided to continue study in the same department at college. But colleges have not (no) departments of mechanical drawing, and the one which is closer to it is mechanical engineer. So, I chose to major in mechanical engineering (unwaveringly)==>??? and enjoyed studying in the department.
[[I major in mechanical engineering, because it interests me, and the other reason is my sisters are working at the kind of mechanical companies. Besides, I want to learn more about something that relate to mechanic.]]==>It would be better that you can write a topic sentence to include the three reasons in the above. I have two sisters (going into the job that relate to mechanic just)==>who had a job that was related to mechanical engineering like mechanical drawing and mold drawing since (when) I was in junior high school. They told me that their career (jobs) had stable income, and if you were excellent in the job, you would not worry about the problem of unemployment, they were (actual)==>life examples. (Then, they affected me, so)==>Under the influence of them, I chose drafting department at industrial vocational high school. At first, I was worried about that whether it was my interest, because I had never contacted drafting really. But fortunately, after (learnt three years)==>three year's study, I understood that mechanical drawing more and more, (just like)==>such as how to draw with different perspectives, and how to use the software to design a produce (product), etc. It let me feel great when I succeeded in designing a produce (product). Hence, I was sure it was my interest, and I decided to continue study in the same department at college. But colleges have not (no) departments of mechanical drawing, and the one which is closer to it is mechanical engineer. So, I chose to major in mechanical engineering (unwaveringly)==>??? and enjoyed studying in the department.
B9303009 (A1)
Why did I choose my malor?
The decisions of attending a vocational high school and choosing my major, Mechanical Engineering, were independently made by me and my mom at the end of my junior high school (career)==>days. Actually, it was a long story. Because the response to this (title)==>writing topic, "Why did I choose my major?" (, and following ones you are going to present)==>delete this part (all date back to that days)==>will trace back to those days. Also, I believe the result of "where I am now" would definitely be based on this most fundamental decision I made at that time, which was going to a vocational high school instead of an ordinary high school. Frankly speaking, I didn't know clearly about the differences between those two types of high schools. But the only facts I did "believe" in were I could probably get rid of those annoying subjects—like Math, Chemistry and Physics—and needn't experience the stressed-out life in an ordinary one just by attending a vocational one. But ironically, while making the decision then, I had no idea about what vocational ones are available, let alone heard about the vocational high school that I have now already graduated from. Even now, it still sounds a little bit ridiculous to me in some way. I really can't imagine how naive I was then. But honestly, a vocational one would probably be a better choice for me. At this point, if you are thinking this is the end of my store (story), you are wrong. The "worst" is yet to come….
Under the educational system in Taiwan, we all know the admission to a high school is based on one's grades in Basic Competence Test(國中基測). In other words, people with high grades could probably get accepted to the best schools. But to some degree, this system is more like a business to me. If I compare grades to money and schools to the products, you would probably know what I mean by that. [[If one student has much money in the pocket, his/her parents might persuade him/her to buy the most expensive products without considering which product is the most useful and suitable for their children. In another case, if one has only a few dollars in hand, the product he/she can afford would be the "leftover" in the store.]]==>This is a good analogy; however, I still do not know quitely exactly what you want to imply for the following story. It is suggested that you state the reaons directly/explicitly. I think my case was a hybrid of those two. I remember the day I went with my mom to my high school for picking up my major. While waiting in the long line for that, I asked her whether she knew what the Architectural Engineering Department was. Because the information I had was limited. I wanted to know more about what their jobs—either a designer or a construction labor—might be in the future after graduation. However, her answer was not what I meant to receive. "The constructions in Taiwan have almost saturated and the boom will be shifting to Mainland China," she said. Suddenly, I felt like getting a slap right on my face. If cleverly enough, you would definitely know what she tried to express indirectly. Of course, she didn't want me to pick that up. At the same time, the closer it was to my turn, the lesser the choices available. So right before my turn to pick, she called my cousin for some advice. Eventually, I picked up Drafting Department(製圖科) as my major, based on their decision. And then that decision led to my major later, Mechanical Engineering, in university. This is the only choice because Drafting Department is one of the fields in Mechanical Engineering.
Even now, I still have a passion for buildings—and nothing could pique my interests as much as it. But as far as my major is concerned, I used to feel bored about it. Fortunately now, I gradually like it by picking up my project this year. And I know if I am able to advance my study and still be a graduate student of the professor of my project, definitely, I will get a good job just because of his fame. But I wonder whether this is truly what I want….
***A fluent narration of a story related to why you chose your major. Next time you might want to try to write your article in an expository way like your peers did for Assignment 1.
The decisions of attending a vocational high school and choosing my major, Mechanical Engineering, were independently made by me and my mom at the end of my junior high school (career)==>days. Actually, it was a long story. Because the response to this (title)==>writing topic, "Why did I choose my major?" (, and following ones you are going to present)==>delete this part (all date back to that days)==>will trace back to those days. Also, I believe the result of "where I am now" would definitely be based on this most fundamental decision I made at that time, which was going to a vocational high school instead of an ordinary high school. Frankly speaking, I didn't know clearly about the differences between those two types of high schools. But the only facts I did "believe" in were I could probably get rid of those annoying subjects—like Math, Chemistry and Physics—and needn't experience the stressed-out life in an ordinary one just by attending a vocational one. But ironically, while making the decision then, I had no idea about what vocational ones are available, let alone heard about the vocational high school that I have now already graduated from. Even now, it still sounds a little bit ridiculous to me in some way. I really can't imagine how naive I was then. But honestly, a vocational one would probably be a better choice for me. At this point, if you are thinking this is the end of my store (story), you are wrong. The "worst" is yet to come….
Under the educational system in Taiwan, we all know the admission to a high school is based on one's grades in Basic Competence Test(國中基測). In other words, people with high grades could probably get accepted to the best schools. But to some degree, this system is more like a business to me. If I compare grades to money and schools to the products, you would probably know what I mean by that. [[If one student has much money in the pocket, his/her parents might persuade him/her to buy the most expensive products without considering which product is the most useful and suitable for their children. In another case, if one has only a few dollars in hand, the product he/she can afford would be the "leftover" in the store.]]==>This is a good analogy; however, I still do not know quitely exactly what you want to imply for the following story. It is suggested that you state the reaons directly/explicitly. I think my case was a hybrid of those two. I remember the day I went with my mom to my high school for picking up my major. While waiting in the long line for that, I asked her whether she knew what the Architectural Engineering Department was. Because the information I had was limited. I wanted to know more about what their jobs—either a designer or a construction labor—might be in the future after graduation. However, her answer was not what I meant to receive. "The constructions in Taiwan have almost saturated and the boom will be shifting to Mainland China," she said. Suddenly, I felt like getting a slap right on my face. If cleverly enough, you would definitely know what she tried to express indirectly. Of course, she didn't want me to pick that up. At the same time, the closer it was to my turn, the lesser the choices available. So right before my turn to pick, she called my cousin for some advice. Eventually, I picked up Drafting Department(製圖科) as my major, based on their decision. And then that decision led to my major later, Mechanical Engineering, in university. This is the only choice because Drafting Department is one of the fields in Mechanical Engineering.
Even now, I still have a passion for buildings—and nothing could pique my interests as much as it. But as far as my major is concerned, I used to feel bored about it. Fortunately now, I gradually like it by picking up my project this year. And I know if I am able to advance my study and still be a graduate student of the professor of my project, definitely, I will get a good job just because of his fame. But I wonder whether this is truly what I want….
***A fluent narration of a story related to why you chose your major. Next time you might want to try to write your article in an expository way like your peers did for Assignment 1.
B9303004 (A1)
Why did I choose my major?
(I am a mechanical student.)==>I am a student majoring in mechanical engineering. Why did I choose this majoy? (I think that there are two causes)==>There ar two reasons for me to make this decision:scores and a desire for studying in Taipei. [[Score is the important cause.I only have 61 score (perfect score is 75) in Basic Competence Test.This score can't admission me into NTU, NTHU(清華大學), NCTU(交通大學)or NCKU(成功大學).And a important point is my English only get 8(perfect score is 15).A lots school take some curriculums to make base to admission into their school.Good school almost stipulate that English need upward 12 score.This meaning is I have no qualifications to apply for their school.Even if my score high then other applicants.But fortunately, NTUST doesn't have any limit to all senior high applicants.Only Information Engineer need some productions such as program.This is not good thing for me because this major is my interest.Since that I only choose other major or I didn't apply for NTUST.I already have no school to study so I choose first surely.In fact, if I want, I can join Designated Curriculum Test(指定考試).But this test is very hard and I have no confidence to get great score enough into the 4 national school.Because my English maybe get zero I belive.So I choose mechanical from other major.This major only allow 4 persons so I think that maybe few persons choose this major that I have more probability.I only want into a good school that I consider.When I am one grade in senior high school, I already decide to go to Taipei for study in the future.My parents are strict so I alway want free.So that I want to go to other place not only stay home.And I want independent not always solve all problems by my parents.I like ascensive city more than country.Ascensive city can make me feel convenient and there are a lot of restaurants because I like eat delicious food and many place I can go not only stay home or school.So Taipei is the best choose.Even if this major is not my love most, but now that I study here.I just accept it, like it and find some interesting things.Pass three years, I belive that I do.I find something I like honestly.I belive that I choose the right major for my future.]]==>Please see the paraphrase of your article in the following.
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As far as scores are concerned, the reason why I chose Mechanical Engineering as my major at Natioinal Taiwan University of Science and Technology (NTUST) was mainly becasue I did not do a good job in Basic Compentence Test (BCT), especially in the part of English test. Although I desired to enter one of the four famous national univeristies, NTU, NTHU, NCTU, or NCKU, my overall scores of BCT do not reach their minimum requirements. When I considered applying for other good universities, I found that they set the minimum English scores to be 12 while my scores were only 8. Knowing that most of the NTUST's departments do not set a limit for applicants (the exception is the Department of Information Engineering, which is my favor), I applied for the Department of Mechanical Engineering by estimating the possibilities for me to be admitted and was luckily accepted by the department finally.
As far as my desire to study in Taipei...試著重新把第二個原因寫清楚, 整合一些次要點, 抓重點寫, OK?! 加油!
(I am a mechanical student.)==>I am a student majoring in mechanical engineering. Why did I choose this majoy? (I think that there are two causes)==>There ar two reasons for me to make this decision:scores and a desire for studying in Taipei. [[Score is the important cause.I only have 61 score (perfect score is 75) in Basic Competence Test.This score can't admission me into NTU, NTHU(清華大學), NCTU(交通大學)or NCKU(成功大學).And a important point is my English only get 8(perfect score is 15).A lots school take some curriculums to make base to admission into their school.Good school almost stipulate that English need upward 12 score.This meaning is I have no qualifications to apply for their school.Even if my score high then other applicants.But fortunately, NTUST doesn't have any limit to all senior high applicants.Only Information Engineer need some productions such as program.This is not good thing for me because this major is my interest.Since that I only choose other major or I didn't apply for NTUST.I already have no school to study so I choose first surely.In fact, if I want, I can join Designated Curriculum Test(指定考試).But this test is very hard and I have no confidence to get great score enough into the 4 national school.Because my English maybe get zero I belive.So I choose mechanical from other major.This major only allow 4 persons so I think that maybe few persons choose this major that I have more probability.I only want into a good school that I consider.When I am one grade in senior high school, I already decide to go to Taipei for study in the future.My parents are strict so I alway want free.So that I want to go to other place not only stay home.And I want independent not always solve all problems by my parents.I like ascensive city more than country.Ascensive city can make me feel convenient and there are a lot of restaurants because I like eat delicious food and many place I can go not only stay home or school.So Taipei is the best choose.Even if this major is not my love most, but now that I study here.I just accept it, like it and find some interesting things.Pass three years, I belive that I do.I find something I like honestly.I belive that I choose the right major for my future.]]==>Please see the paraphrase of your article in the following.
....................................................................................................................................................
As far as scores are concerned, the reason why I chose Mechanical Engineering as my major at Natioinal Taiwan University of Science and Technology (NTUST) was mainly becasue I did not do a good job in Basic Compentence Test (BCT), especially in the part of English test. Although I desired to enter one of the four famous national univeristies, NTU, NTHU, NCTU, or NCKU, my overall scores of BCT do not reach their minimum requirements. When I considered applying for other good universities, I found that they set the minimum English scores to be 12 while my scores were only 8. Knowing that most of the NTUST's departments do not set a limit for applicants (the exception is the Department of Information Engineering, which is my favor), I applied for the Department of Mechanical Engineering by estimating the possibilities for me to be admitted and was luckily accepted by the department finally.
As far as my desire to study in Taipei...試著重新把第二個原因寫清楚, 整合一些次要點, 抓重點寫, OK?! 加油!
B9215035 (A1)
Why did I choose my major?
I chose Computer Science (CS) to be my major because it is interested (interesting), useful and popular. There is a story about how I got into this field. When I was about to enter senior high school. I got a low score in the entrance examination, so I went to a vocational school instead of a normal senior high school. In (At) that time, I chose CS only because of scores. I am glad I was pretty lucky. A randomly chosen area that I don't (did not) understand at all became more and more charming during learning it. When I was (entering)==>about to enter university, I got another chance to choose my major again. At this time, I chose CS because it is interested (interesting), useful and popular.
Let's talk about how I feel about computer. I love playing games, especially PC games. When I am free, I can play PC game all day although it is not healthy. Computer is just like a toy for me, a really complicated toy. I build it, I use it, and I fix it. It is very cheerful when you build a computer all by yourself and it works. You know you can do so (much interested thing)==>many interesting things with this new toy. Computer is so interesting that I want to know anything about it. When I saw the computer for the first time, I thought it was just a big game machine because the only thing I could do with it was playing games. After I learned more knowledge of Computer Science, I realized that computer can do much more stuff than I thought. I became more and more ambitious to get into the world of Computer Science. The most popular usage of computer is surfing the Internet. You can almost do anything by the Internet, such like (as) shopping, doing homework, chatting with someone and getting information, etc. The Internet is so powerful that people says that a computer without the Internet is not a really computer. Because computer is so powerful and useful. There is more and more people trying to learn how to control the computer. Even my parents who were so afraid about (of) computer are asking me to build a computer for them. Computer Science becomes more popular than it used to be. Today, there is at least one computer in most of the families. Because computer is so interested (interesting), useful and popular for most people. I chose Computer Science to be my major.
***Organized and fluent writing.
I chose Computer Science (CS) to be my major because it is interested (interesting), useful and popular. There is a story about how I got into this field. When I was about to enter senior high school. I got a low score in the entrance examination, so I went to a vocational school instead of a normal senior high school. In (At) that time, I chose CS only because of scores. I am glad I was pretty lucky. A randomly chosen area that I don't (did not) understand at all became more and more charming during learning it. When I was (entering)==>about to enter university, I got another chance to choose my major again. At this time, I chose CS because it is interested (interesting), useful and popular.
Let's talk about how I feel about computer. I love playing games, especially PC games. When I am free, I can play PC game all day although it is not healthy. Computer is just like a toy for me, a really complicated toy. I build it, I use it, and I fix it. It is very cheerful when you build a computer all by yourself and it works. You know you can do so (much interested thing)==>many interesting things with this new toy. Computer is so interesting that I want to know anything about it. When I saw the computer for the first time, I thought it was just a big game machine because the only thing I could do with it was playing games. After I learned more knowledge of Computer Science, I realized that computer can do much more stuff than I thought. I became more and more ambitious to get into the world of Computer Science. The most popular usage of computer is surfing the Internet. You can almost do anything by the Internet, such like (as) shopping, doing homework, chatting with someone and getting information, etc. The Internet is so powerful that people says that a computer without the Internet is not a really computer. Because computer is so powerful and useful. There is more and more people trying to learn how to control the computer. Even my parents who were so afraid about (of) computer are asking me to build a computer for them. Computer Science becomes more popular than it used to be. Today, there is at least one computer in most of the families. Because computer is so interested (interesting), useful and popular for most people. I chose Computer Science to be my major.
***Organized and fluent writing.
B9215025 (A1)
Why did I choose my major?
My major is computer science and information engineering,"CSIE" for short. Why I chose CSIE to be my major is that I like computer.The most important reason is that right after my father bought me a computer when I was 11 years old, I was attractive by it immediately, because it was very useful. I can used it for painting, calculating, playing games, and talking with someone on the Internet, too. When I got into junior high school, I found a new way to use it. I used it to do my homework, it was more convenient and faster than just using my hand. As time (goes)==>went by, it became (my life's one very important tool in every thing)==>one of the very important tools in my life. (, and I think I like it.)==>It is suggested that you delete this part, because it sounds informal. Another important reason is that when I was a senior high school student and ready to go to university, my grade of the university entrance exam can (could) let me choose between the Department of CSIE of National Taiwan University of Science and Technology and the Department of Electronic Engineering of National Taipei University of Technology. (But my teacher in senior high school suggested me to)==>With my senir high school teacher's suggestion, I choose (chose) the National Taiwan University of Science and Technology and CSIE to be my major. Still, another reason why I chose "CSIE" to be my major is because I was interested in programming when I was a senior high school student. When I was a senior high school student, my major was Electronics. I was not very interested in it. But(delete this word) I was more interested in computer class than Electronics. For me, programming is just like painting, if you have good ideas in your mond (mind), then you can write a good programe, and computer can show how your programe works immediately, not like electronic experiment; it has too much unsuspected condition to bother your work. I am glad that I chose CSIE to be my major, because I will have more opportunities to find more fun in computer.
***It is suggested that you come up with a topic sentence to organized your reasos. Also try to pay attention to the usage of transitional/connecting words to list the reasons.
My major is computer science and information engineering,"CSIE" for short. Why I chose CSIE to be my major is that I like computer.The most important reason is that right after my father bought me a computer when I was 11 years old, I was attractive by it immediately, because it was very useful. I can used it for painting, calculating, playing games, and talking with someone on the Internet, too. When I got into junior high school, I found a new way to use it. I used it to do my homework, it was more convenient and faster than just using my hand. As time (goes)==>went by, it became (my life's one very important tool in every thing)==>one of the very important tools in my life. (, and I think I like it.)==>It is suggested that you delete this part, because it sounds informal. Another important reason is that when I was a senior high school student and ready to go to university, my grade of the university entrance exam can (could) let me choose between the Department of CSIE of National Taiwan University of Science and Technology and the Department of Electronic Engineering of National Taipei University of Technology. (But my teacher in senior high school suggested me to)==>With my senir high school teacher's suggestion, I choose (chose) the National Taiwan University of Science and Technology and CSIE to be my major. Still, another reason why I chose "CSIE" to be my major is because I was interested in programming when I was a senior high school student. When I was a senior high school student, my major was Electronics. I was not very interested in it. But(delete this word) I was more interested in computer class than Electronics. For me, programming is just like painting, if you have good ideas in your mond (mind), then you can write a good programe, and computer can show how your programe works immediately, not like electronic experiment; it has too much unsuspected condition to bother your work. I am glad that I chose CSIE to be my major, because I will have more opportunities to find more fun in computer.
***It is suggested that you come up with a topic sentence to organized your reasos. Also try to pay attention to the usage of transitional/connecting words to list the reasons.
B9213028 (A1)
Why did you choose your major?
My major is architecture. Why did I choose my major? I think that was a happy accident in junior school.The accident let me find many things that I liked in architecture life.
Why was it a happy accident? When I was in (junior school of third grade)==>the third grade of my junior high school. I studied absorbedly for entering a good senior high school. But unfortunately, I got an illness .The illness (let me infirm to)==>made me give up my dream (that is) to enter a senior high school. (Take it over,I enter a industril high school that was matriculated before.)==>??? Please rewrite this sentence to make it clearer. I majored in architecture in National Taichung Industril High School. (Ill runs apace.)==>???
Architecture let me feel it is a thing of (acquirement)??? We learned how to (finsh completed plan)??? It was an interesting process to finish a design assignment. First ,we have to think a concept about the design title. Then let the concept build in the architecture abstract, abstract is very difficult but that is what we have to do. Then we have to know the conditions of (advantageous and disadvantageous)==>advantages and disadvantages about the site of architecture. Finally,we have to finish completed plans and build a model.That are (is) a complex and long procee to finish a design assignment and (often let me lose sleep)==>it often deprives my sleep, but when I finish the project, (that always let me feel happy.)==>I always feel very happy.
I wanted to do the work that I can always feel happy. So I design (decided) to continue learned (learning) architecture. [[then I enter NTUST luckily.]]==>Luckily, after junior-college, I was admitted to National Taiwan University of Science and Technology and was able to major in architecture again. I love the beautiful accident six years ago. I think I will be an architect someday.
My major is architecture. Why did I choose my major? I think that was a happy accident in junior school.The accident let me find many things that I liked in architecture life.
Why was it a happy accident? When I was in (junior school of third grade)==>the third grade of my junior high school. I studied absorbedly for entering a good senior high school. But unfortunately, I got an illness .The illness (let me infirm to)==>made me give up my dream (that is) to enter a senior high school. (Take it over,I enter a industril high school that was matriculated before.)==>??? Please rewrite this sentence to make it clearer. I majored in architecture in National Taichung Industril High School. (Ill runs apace.)==>???
Architecture let me feel it is a thing of (acquirement)??? We learned how to (finsh completed plan)??? It was an interesting process to finish a design assignment. First ,we have to think a concept about the design title. Then let the concept build in the architecture abstract, abstract is very difficult but that is what we have to do. Then we have to know the conditions of (advantageous and disadvantageous)==>advantages and disadvantages about the site of architecture. Finally,we have to finish completed plans and build a model.That are (is) a complex and long procee to finish a design assignment and (often let me lose sleep)==>it often deprives my sleep, but when I finish the project, (that always let me feel happy.)==>I always feel very happy.
I wanted to do the work that I can always feel happy. So I design (decided) to continue learned (learning) architecture. [[then I enter NTUST luckily.]]==>Luckily, after junior-college, I was admitted to National Taiwan University of Science and Technology and was able to major in architecture again. I love the beautiful accident six years ago. I think I will be an architect someday.
B9209014 (A1)
Why did you choose your major?
(The reason of I choosing)==>The reason why I chose Information Management (IM) as my major was very simple - I was interested in computer science. I enjoy learning skills of computer and business knowledge in my (campus)=>school life.
When I was a junior high school student, I had a computer (which)=>whose processing speed was very slow. But I learned a lot of basic computer technology from my slowly (slow) computer. For example, my computer teacher taught me how to edit a homepage by using HTML and how to set up a computer. I liked to help my friends if they have any problems about computer. To help my friends, I learned more computer skills. The more skills I learned the more interested that I was in computer; therefore after junior high school, I choose (chose) Data Process as my major in vocational high school.
When I was going to graduate from vocational high school, I had to think about the future; what is (would be) my major in college? I wanted to learn more knowledge, skill and technology. My parents supported me to make the decision, "You should choose what you like", they said. Without a doubt, I choose(chose) Information Management to be my major. Fortunately, I was admitted to NTUST by screening test and was able to major in IM.
In my college life, I learned many skills in computer and business. I like to use program language to operate the database, and apply on (to) business models; it's the most important skill in e-Commerce. I want to use the skills that I have learned in the future. I am glad that I can study in the Department of Information Management in NTUST; I learned a lot of knowledge in the school.
(The reason of I choosing)==>The reason why I chose Information Management (IM) as my major was very simple - I was interested in computer science. I enjoy learning skills of computer and business knowledge in my (campus)=>school life.
When I was a junior high school student, I had a computer (which)=>whose processing speed was very slow. But I learned a lot of basic computer technology from my slowly (slow) computer. For example, my computer teacher taught me how to edit a homepage by using HTML and how to set up a computer. I liked to help my friends if they have any problems about computer. To help my friends, I learned more computer skills. The more skills I learned the more interested that I was in computer; therefore after junior high school, I choose (chose) Data Process as my major in vocational high school.
When I was going to graduate from vocational high school, I had to think about the future; what is (would be) my major in college? I wanted to learn more knowledge, skill and technology. My parents supported me to make the decision, "You should choose what you like", they said. Without a doubt, I choose(chose) Information Management to be my major. Fortunately, I was admitted to NTUST by screening test and was able to major in IM.
In my college life, I learned many skills in computer and business. I like to use program language to operate the database, and apply on (to) business models; it's the most important skill in e-Commerce. I want to use the skills that I have learned in the future. I am glad that I can study in the Department of Information Management in NTUST; I learned a lot of knowledge in the school.
A9415058 (A1)
Assignment1: Why did you choose your major?
(Choosing the major will still be hard in school life for some people)==>Without adequate knowledge and outlook for life, it is usually hard for a student to decide his major. My major is CSIE (Computer Science Information Engineering), and there are two reasons for me to choose the major. First, the field is interesting. Second, I am not good enough to have a (appropriate)=>satisfying job in this field; therefore, I want to learn more professional knowledge, logic thinking, technical skills et cetera.
Before I came to NTUST, I had worked for years as an assistant engineer at electric hardware deportment for Soliton Technologies Company. At that time, I learned so many things from my boss and assignments which are electronic hardware I have been given from my boss. Once I was assigned to write a software program for hardware controlling. For example, the LED light on/off, transmit or receive data from one computer to another and access data at random-access memory, and all of these actions followed programe statements. From this assignmet, I saw many interesting things that I have never learned before.
At that moment, I also realized the professional knowledge that I had known was too (few)=>little. That was why I cannot (could not) do my job better and efficiently. If you get a project like that, you need to know how to do or handle it correctly and efficiently. For instance, you need to know "Computer Organization" to make correct assignment for your resource, then you should learn "Algorithms," which helps you to implement request functions and makes program structure to accord the project. As mentioned in the above, these skills are (belong)=>relateld to Computer Science so I (designed)=>decided to go back to college for (to) increase my ability. Now I am a student of CSIE department and I am happy to learn things from my major.
There are many kinds of reasons for people to choose their majors. For me, I chose my major based on pleasure, getting a better job and improving knowledge. How about you? Nor matter what reasons you have for choosing your majors, just enjoy yourself in your major.
***It is good that you coclude your paragraph by stating the main points again.
(Choosing the major will still be hard in school life for some people)==>Without adequate knowledge and outlook for life, it is usually hard for a student to decide his major. My major is CSIE (Computer Science Information Engineering), and there are two reasons for me to choose the major. First, the field is interesting. Second, I am not good enough to have a (appropriate)=>satisfying job in this field; therefore, I want to learn more professional knowledge, logic thinking, technical skills et cetera.
Before I came to NTUST, I had worked for years as an assistant engineer at electric hardware deportment for Soliton Technologies Company. At that time, I learned so many things from my boss and assignments which are electronic hardware I have been given from my boss. Once I was assigned to write a software program for hardware controlling. For example, the LED light on/off, transmit or receive data from one computer to another and access data at random-access memory, and all of these actions followed programe statements. From this assignmet, I saw many interesting things that I have never learned before.
At that moment, I also realized the professional knowledge that I had known was too (few)=>little. That was why I cannot (could not) do my job better and efficiently. If you get a project like that, you need to know how to do or handle it correctly and efficiently. For instance, you need to know "Computer Organization" to make correct assignment for your resource, then you should learn "Algorithms," which helps you to implement request functions and makes program structure to accord the project. As mentioned in the above, these skills are (belong)=>relateld to Computer Science so I (designed)=>decided to go back to college for (to) increase my ability. Now I am a student of CSIE department and I am happy to learn things from my major.
There are many kinds of reasons for people to choose their majors. For me, I chose my major based on pleasure, getting a better job and improving knowledge. How about you? Nor matter what reasons you have for choosing your majors, just enjoy yourself in your major.
***It is good that you coclude your paragraph by stating the main points again.
A9415035 (A1)
Why did you choose your major?
Computer science and information engineering is what I majored (major) now and there are couple of reasons attracted me to choose it. At first, majoring in computer science and information (facilitates)==>would help me to get a career (job) with high salary after I graduated (graduate). (As a result of that)==>delete this part As the type of industry varied rapidly in Taiwan, from agriculture to high-tech, skills of computer science are needed; therefore, people who majored (major) in computer science and information are popularly recruited from technology companies in these years. Secondly, (I’m actually interested in computer since I have)==>I was deeply interested in computer ever since I had touched computer. The first time I touched computer was to play computer games when I was a 13-year-old. Sometimes computer didn’t work, I tried to repair it by myself and I got a giant accomplishment. I’ve developed my interest in computers since then. Moreover, computer knowledge is widely required nowadays. For example, students usually type reports and hand in an assignment (through)==>with the help of computers. (And the computer applications greatly increase the convenient of life for peoplel)==>Computer also makes people's life more convenietn, such as gaining the latest information, shopping on the Internet as well as chatting with others. Therefore, I would like to improve my computer knowledge as possible as I can. [[Based on my interested (interest) in computer, desire to enrich my computer knowledge and possibilities to get a high salary career,I make a decision to major in computer science and information engineering.]]==>good conclusion!
***It is suggested that you come up with a topic sentence in the beginning to include the main points that you are going to say in the following.
Computer science and information engineering is what I majored (major) now and there are couple of reasons attracted me to choose it. At first, majoring in computer science and information (facilitates)==>would help me to get a career (job) with high salary after I graduated (graduate). (As a result of that)==>delete this part As the type of industry varied rapidly in Taiwan, from agriculture to high-tech, skills of computer science are needed; therefore, people who majored (major) in computer science and information are popularly recruited from technology companies in these years. Secondly, (I’m actually interested in computer since I have)==>I was deeply interested in computer ever since I had touched computer. The first time I touched computer was to play computer games when I was a 13-year-old. Sometimes computer didn’t work, I tried to repair it by myself and I got a giant accomplishment. I’ve developed my interest in computers since then. Moreover, computer knowledge is widely required nowadays. For example, students usually type reports and hand in an assignment (through)==>with the help of computers. (And the computer applications greatly increase the convenient of life for peoplel)==>Computer also makes people's life more convenietn, such as gaining the latest information, shopping on the Internet as well as chatting with others. Therefore, I would like to improve my computer knowledge as possible as I can. [[Based on my interested (interest) in computer, desire to enrich my computer knowledge and possibilities to get a high salary career,I make a decision to major in computer science and information engineering.]]==>good conclusion!
***It is suggested that you come up with a topic sentence in the beginning to include the main points that you are going to say in the following.
A9415032 (A1)
Why did you choose your major?
People may choose their majors based on many different reasons; personally, I chose my major, computer science and information engineering, based on my interest and future job. I have been interested in computer since I was a child. Like many other kids, I was fond (to)=>of computer games. When playing computer games, I found it very amazing and wondered why it worked like that. In high school, I majored in electrical engineering. At that time, I took several courses related to computer science. Surprisingly, I found computer science more attractive than electrical engineering because whenever I accomplish a program, I felt very proud of myself. Secondly, choosing computer science as a major is easier to get a high salary job. My uncle works in an electrical company as a programmer. He told me that people who major in computer science and information is quite popular in electrical company, and if you work in those companies you might earn more money than others. Moreover, the Internet giant – Google, which is a kind of high-tech company needs a lot of talented people who major in computer science and information; therefore, this major brings many opportunities of work. I made my own decision to major in computer science and information engineering. I was glad to choose my major based own my interest and I believe that my major will be helpful in finding a career in the future.
***A fluent and concise writing. Well-done!
People may choose their majors based on many different reasons; personally, I chose my major, computer science and information engineering, based on my interest and future job. I have been interested in computer since I was a child. Like many other kids, I was fond (to)=>of computer games. When playing computer games, I found it very amazing and wondered why it worked like that. In high school, I majored in electrical engineering. At that time, I took several courses related to computer science. Surprisingly, I found computer science more attractive than electrical engineering because whenever I accomplish a program, I felt very proud of myself. Secondly, choosing computer science as a major is easier to get a high salary job. My uncle works in an electrical company as a programmer. He told me that people who major in computer science and information is quite popular in electrical company, and if you work in those companies you might earn more money than others. Moreover, the Internet giant – Google, which is a kind of high-tech company needs a lot of talented people who major in computer science and information; therefore, this major brings many opportunities of work. I made my own decision to major in computer science and information engineering. I was glad to choose my major based own my interest and I believe that my major will be helpful in finding a career in the future.
***A fluent and concise writing. Well-done!
A9409007 (A1)
Why did I choose my major?
My major is Information Management(IM). (And traced)==>Tracing back to the reason why I chose IM is my father's suggestion. He told me that computer is indispensable in the future. When I graduated from junior high school, I enrolled in National Taipei College of Business(NTCB). At that time, I was too young to plan for my future. I felt bewildered that I have no idea to choose my major, so I asked my father for help. My father gave me some suggestions about how to choose the major. He analyzed college departments to me from every aspect. He told me that the prospect of IM is (brightening)=>promising. It's necessary for everyone to learn how to use the computer. It may be a common sense (for future)==>in the future. He (asked)==>advised me to accumulate the skills of using computer so that I can keep up with the (tendency)==>trend. I believe that computer will replace people to do anything like robots do in the future. Besides, I surf the Internet to prove my father's statements. I found that using the computer is (basic condition)==>a basic requirement for work. (It's very realistic problem for existence.)==>??? So I thought if I choose IM as my major, I will have more chances to (job-hunt)==>hunt a job. Certainly, I faced (the same problem)==>what is the problem, please say it again again when I graduated from NTCB. During the past five years, I found out that Information technology will (would) be a plus for me. Different from the past time, I (have)=> had a clear plan and I decided to continue learning IM. (Except)==>In addition to the reasons that I (told before)==>described in the above, I developed an interest in IM and I could handle the work in IM well. So I choose (chose) IM when I (enrolled in)==>was admitted to NTUST. Presently, I have been studying (in)=>delete this word IM for seven years. I am never regretful for choosing IM as my major and I deeply appreciated my father's advice. In my graduate school, I will do research for two more years in IM. I hope that I will be excellent in my( area)==>field of study.
***Clear writing. However, please pay attention to verb tense and word usage.
My major is Information Management(IM). (And traced)==>Tracing back to the reason why I chose IM is my father's suggestion. He told me that computer is indispensable in the future. When I graduated from junior high school, I enrolled in National Taipei College of Business(NTCB). At that time, I was too young to plan for my future. I felt bewildered that I have no idea to choose my major, so I asked my father for help. My father gave me some suggestions about how to choose the major. He analyzed college departments to me from every aspect. He told me that the prospect of IM is (brightening)=>promising. It's necessary for everyone to learn how to use the computer. It may be a common sense (for future)==>in the future. He (asked)==>advised me to accumulate the skills of using computer so that I can keep up with the (tendency)==>trend. I believe that computer will replace people to do anything like robots do in the future. Besides, I surf the Internet to prove my father's statements. I found that using the computer is (basic condition)==>a basic requirement for work. (It's very realistic problem for existence.)==>??? So I thought if I choose IM as my major, I will have more chances to (job-hunt)==>hunt a job. Certainly, I faced (the same problem)==>what is the problem, please say it again again when I graduated from NTCB. During the past five years, I found out that Information technology will (would) be a plus for me. Different from the past time, I (have)=> had a clear plan and I decided to continue learning IM. (Except)==>In addition to the reasons that I (told before)==>described in the above, I developed an interest in IM and I could handle the work in IM well. So I choose (chose) IM when I (enrolled in)==>was admitted to NTUST. Presently, I have been studying (in)=>delete this word IM for seven years. I am never regretful for choosing IM as my major and I deeply appreciated my father's advice. In my graduate school, I will do research for two more years in IM. I hope that I will be excellent in my( area)==>field of study.
***Clear writing. However, please pay attention to verb tense and word usage.
A9409003 (A1)
Why did I choose my major?
I am a senior in National Taiwan University of Science and Technology majoring in Information Management. First, I want to explain (my opinion of IM.)==>what consits of IM. It combined (combines) computer science and business management. It uses Information Technology to gain important information for a company. These kinds of information help a company to make decisions. My major seems to be useful to me now, but I chose it because of a simple reason. I think it will be cool to know computers because there is no one in our family studied computers before.
When I was in junior high school, computers are not common. Not to mention computers that can access to the Internet. (A computer’s concept)==>what do you mean by that? was a whole new idea to me. I remembered one day I went to my friend’s home, she had a computer and she used it to surf the web. I used the computer for a while and realized it is (was) such a powerful tool. You can use a computer to do a lot of things. You can draw a picture, type a document or even talk to someone from other country. I went home and asked my father about computers. A few weeks later, I got my first computer. I still remembered how excited I was when I saw it in my room.
One day my father and I tried to install a computer game. My father is a very intelligent man. He graduated from National Taiwan University and got his MBA in Chengchi University. He knows all kinds of knowledge. But that day my father was defeated by a machine. He cannot (could not) figure out how to install a game. After trying for hours later, he gave up. I wanted to play the game badly, so the next day I tried to install the software by myself. I read the manual carefully and followed the instructions. Later I successfully installed the game! I was so proud and satisfied when I did it. I thought I can (could) impress my father. There is (was) something that I can do (did) better than him. I can (could) even be his tutor. The first time in my life I found something I may have talent for and also an interest in it. I discussed with my father about my thoughts and he gave me a few advises. He thought computer science was too tough for me and IM will be the best choice for me. I can still study computers and also learn things about management. If I got tired with computers, I will still have knowledge about commerce. It will be an advantage to find a job.
After graduate (graduating) from junior high school, I decided not to enter a senior high school. I went straight to a five-year college to study IM. I have faced difficulties and sometimes got frustrated. But I do (did) not want to quit. Now I have been studying IM for almost 7 years. This year I am going to graduate from school (NTUST). Hopefully I can find a job and handle it perfectly using my specialty.
***Clear, organized, and fluent writing. However, please pay attention to verb tense and grammar.
I am a senior in National Taiwan University of Science and Technology majoring in Information Management. First, I want to explain (my opinion of IM.)==>what consits of IM. It combined (combines) computer science and business management. It uses Information Technology to gain important information for a company. These kinds of information help a company to make decisions. My major seems to be useful to me now, but I chose it because of a simple reason. I think it will be cool to know computers because there is no one in our family studied computers before.
When I was in junior high school, computers are not common. Not to mention computers that can access to the Internet. (A computer’s concept)==>what do you mean by that? was a whole new idea to me. I remembered one day I went to my friend’s home, she had a computer and she used it to surf the web. I used the computer for a while and realized it is (was) such a powerful tool. You can use a computer to do a lot of things. You can draw a picture, type a document or even talk to someone from other country. I went home and asked my father about computers. A few weeks later, I got my first computer. I still remembered how excited I was when I saw it in my room.
One day my father and I tried to install a computer game. My father is a very intelligent man. He graduated from National Taiwan University and got his MBA in Chengchi University. He knows all kinds of knowledge. But that day my father was defeated by a machine. He cannot (could not) figure out how to install a game. After trying for hours later, he gave up. I wanted to play the game badly, so the next day I tried to install the software by myself. I read the manual carefully and followed the instructions. Later I successfully installed the game! I was so proud and satisfied when I did it. I thought I can (could) impress my father. There is (was) something that I can do (did) better than him. I can (could) even be his tutor. The first time in my life I found something I may have talent for and also an interest in it. I discussed with my father about my thoughts and he gave me a few advises. He thought computer science was too tough for me and IM will be the best choice for me. I can still study computers and also learn things about management. If I got tired with computers, I will still have knowledge about commerce. It will be an advantage to find a job.
After graduate (graduating) from junior high school, I decided not to enter a senior high school. I went straight to a five-year college to study IM. I have faced difficulties and sometimes got frustrated. But I do (did) not want to quit. Now I have been studying IM for almost 7 years. This year I am going to graduate from school (NTUST). Hopefully I can find a job and handle it perfectly using my specialty.
***Clear, organized, and fluent writing. However, please pay attention to verb tense and grammar.
A9409002 (A1)
Why did you choose your major?
The reasons why I chose my major are because of money and interest. When I was a 12-year-old girl,I was attracted to computer. Why after typing only a few keys, then I could get a lot of information on the screen? How could I get the e-mails from people who lived in other countries just in a few seconds? Although the transmission time was a little slow actually, I was curious about the mysteries inside of computers.
The first reason why I chose my major is because of money. It was the first time that I had to choose one major for myself after I graduated from junior high school. But it is (was) not an easy thing to do, so I asked my parents for help. They just gave me some advices, and told me that I had to make a decision by myself, because it is (was) my own way, not theirs. By thinking about it carefully for a few days, I set my goal in being rich. Then I was on the outlook for finding a good job for my future so that I can earn a lot of money. Hence, I made up my mind to choose a hot department which is named information management (IM). Then I concentrate on my study so much, because I think I will be more professional than anyone else in IM region (field) someday. Therefore, I will be rich in the future. Although everyone thinks it is difficult to achieve, I looked (regard) it as a challenge or training so that I can faced (face) it courageously from now on.
Another reason why I chose IM is for the most important factor- my interest. I remembered after touching the real computer in front of me the first time, I had a special feeling in my mind. It seems like a motive power which attracts me to catch it. Then I found out that I really would like to get to know more about computers and the Internet. After that, I searched the resources on the Internet and tried to use programming language which is named Visual Basic to write some codes to create a webpage. I really enjoyed it and had a lot of fun. So I think interest is a best way to keep up concentrating on my study.
In conclusion, not only because IM was the most popular department that everyone wanted to choose, but also it is interesting. If you make yourself to know more about IM, you will be fascinated with the world of computers, too. Finally, with my own strong will and great interest, I think (it can still be the best decision to choose Information Management as my major.)==>choosing IM as my major is the best decision that I have ever made so far.
***Organized, clear, and fluent writing.
The reasons why I chose my major are because of money and interest. When I was a 12-year-old girl,I was attracted to computer. Why after typing only a few keys, then I could get a lot of information on the screen? How could I get the e-mails from people who lived in other countries just in a few seconds? Although the transmission time was a little slow actually, I was curious about the mysteries inside of computers.
The first reason why I chose my major is because of money. It was the first time that I had to choose one major for myself after I graduated from junior high school. But it is (was) not an easy thing to do, so I asked my parents for help. They just gave me some advices, and told me that I had to make a decision by myself, because it is (was) my own way, not theirs. By thinking about it carefully for a few days, I set my goal in being rich. Then I was on the outlook for finding a good job for my future so that I can earn a lot of money. Hence, I made up my mind to choose a hot department which is named information management (IM). Then I concentrate on my study so much, because I think I will be more professional than anyone else in IM region (field) someday. Therefore, I will be rich in the future. Although everyone thinks it is difficult to achieve, I looked (regard) it as a challenge or training so that I can faced (face) it courageously from now on.
Another reason why I chose IM is for the most important factor- my interest. I remembered after touching the real computer in front of me the first time, I had a special feeling in my mind. It seems like a motive power which attracts me to catch it. Then I found out that I really would like to get to know more about computers and the Internet. After that, I searched the resources on the Internet and tried to use programming language which is named Visual Basic to write some codes to create a webpage. I really enjoyed it and had a lot of fun. So I think interest is a best way to keep up concentrating on my study.
In conclusion, not only because IM was the most popular department that everyone wanted to choose, but also it is interesting. If you make yourself to know more about IM, you will be fascinated with the world of computers, too. Finally, with my own strong will and great interest, I think (it can still be the best decision to choose Information Management as my major.)==>choosing IM as my major is the best decision that I have ever made so far.
***Organized, clear, and fluent writing.
A9408047 (A1)
(This problem spend me much time thinking about it.)==>This question took me much time to think about it. But now I am happy that I (choose my major.)==>chose Business Administration as my major, because I can learn what I want to learn. Let (mereach my vision.)==>elaborate on my point in the following.
First, I want to learn how to use money to make money. In some classes, like financial management or investment management,it (they) teach me how to find undervalue asset. And the most important thing is to teach me how to manager (manage) risk. You can't put all money in the same asset. Second,in Strategic Management Theory class, I can learn how to make strategies and what strategies is (are) better than others. In this class, it teaches me many (much)==>delete this word strategic models and find the five forces of a company.[[Then I can know what the competitive advantage does a company have.So I design the strategy of a company.Third,I like to research why a company can make more profit than other companies.I need to read a lot of stories of companies.And then I have to show why a companycan make more profit.Is it make the cost lower or attract more consumer to buy itsproduct.I must analyse it and make a report to my teacher.Fourth,I want to know how to evaluate a company's stock price.I like to find the stock prices of undervalue companies and put my money in them.After the stock prices rise,I can make my money more much. ]]==>I did not correct your grammar or give feedback to the above senttences.
All of them are my interests and my reasons. My major is Business Administration. I think my decision is right. I know very clearly why I choose it and I am so happy.I wish I can be a somebody in the future.
***I am afraid that you need to revise the paragraph becasue I did not see any reasons that prompted you to enter NTUST. The reasons that you provide are the features of some of the subjects in your major. "What did you choose your major?" means that you have to look back to your life before you entered NTUST to figure out what caused you to choose your current major.
First, I want to learn how to use money to make money. In some classes, like financial management or investment management,it (they) teach me how to find undervalue asset. And the most important thing is to teach me how to manager (manage) risk. You can't put all money in the same asset. Second,in Strategic Management Theory class, I can learn how to make strategies and what strategies is (are) better than others. In this class, it teaches me many (much)==>delete this word strategic models and find the five forces of a company.[[Then I can know what the competitive advantage does a company have.So I design the strategy of a company.Third,I like to research why a company can make more profit than other companies.I need to read a lot of stories of companies.And then I have to show why a companycan make more profit.Is it make the cost lower or attract more consumer to buy itsproduct.I must analyse it and make a report to my teacher.Fourth,I want to know how to evaluate a company's stock price.I like to find the stock prices of undervalue companies and put my money in them.After the stock prices rise,I can make my money more much. ]]==>I did not correct your grammar or give feedback to the above senttences.
All of them are my interests and my reasons. My major is Business Administration. I think my decision is right. I know very clearly why I choose it and I am so happy.I wish I can be a somebody in the future.
***I am afraid that you need to revise the paragraph becasue I did not see any reasons that prompted you to enter NTUST. The reasons that you provide are the features of some of the subjects in your major. "What did you choose your major?" means that you have to look back to your life before you entered NTUST to figure out what caused you to choose your current major.
A9406048 (A1)
What did you choose your major------2nd version
My major is chemical engineering，I have (study)=> studied it for 7 years (thus)=>so far, (five years establish school and two years establish school.)==>??? In the middle of (this)==these 7 years, I (wanna give up)==>wanted to give it up. (I thanks for that my classmates help me in my lessons, let me not to leave school.)==>Thanks to my classmates' help in my study, I did not drop out of the school.
(I want to go to the art school after graduated from junior high school, because I have interesting in drawing. A forte one is sepecially good at art since I was a children)==>I wanted to go to an art school after graduating from junior high school because I had been interested in drawing ever since I was a child. My teacher (was to support)==>supported me to go to an art school. But my parent said: No!! They think (thought) that it can (could) not be my job. (And the major cause of)==>The major reason why I could not go to an art school was that the art school tuition is (was) very expensive.
So I have to change my aim to be an average high school student. (I study hard after stay in class at home time)==>???, I hope that I can (matriculate)==>be admitted to a great school. But I did bad on the entrance exam, (my parents were letdown to)==>and my parents were disappointed at me. (And they hope me to go to the five years establish school, they think it’s better for me.)==>Because of the concern of my future, they thought it would be better for me to go to a five-year college. (So)==>That was why I entrance Mingchi University Of Technology. (It’s the 王永慶established school.)==>It is one of the schools that were established by the famous entrpreneur, 王永慶. My parents (think about that I can find the great jobs)==thought that I could find a great job after I graduated from this school. (And my grades just can distribute me to chemical engineering departmentalism.)==>My grades in the entrance exam could only allow me to enter the Department of Chemical Engineering.
(A experience of that five years, let me learning)==>Five-year study at Ming-Chi made me learn a lot of things about life. (In twice sandwich courses, I learned some different people at different degree.)==>??? And I (appreciated)=>? what is important for life.
(As matter of course)==>??? I (matriculate)==>was admitted to NTUST after graduated (graduating) from MUT. I (not conditioned)==>did not get used to NTUST’s instruction in the first year, so I (within an ace of leave school)==>almost dropped out of the school. (It’s cause me loss ardor of study, I doubt me that I don’t like study.)==>It was because I lost ardor of studying. I doubted that I did not like studying anymore. Chemical engineering (including a lot of discipline,)==>includes a lot of subjects and I didn’t do well in anything. So I always get (got) bad grades, and my best grades is :Chinese!!
I will graduate from (here)==>NTUST this June. I (attended)==>took three graduate school tests in March this year, if I could not (matriculate)=>enter any schools, I will finish my military service first and (I can think what is I wanted during soldiering)==>think about what I will do during my military service.
***You talked a lot of things related to the choice of your major. It would be better that you come up with a topic sentence in the beginning to organize the major points that are reated to the topic. Actually you can delete some parts that are not relevant to the topic to make your paragraph more unified (整體性).
My major is chemical engineering，I have (study)=> studied it for 7 years (thus)=>so far, (five years establish school and two years establish school.)==>??? In the middle of (this)==these 7 years, I (wanna give up)==>wanted to give it up. (I thanks for that my classmates help me in my lessons, let me not to leave school.)==>Thanks to my classmates' help in my study, I did not drop out of the school.
(I want to go to the art school after graduated from junior high school, because I have interesting in drawing. A forte one is sepecially good at art since I was a children)==>I wanted to go to an art school after graduating from junior high school because I had been interested in drawing ever since I was a child. My teacher (was to support)==>supported me to go to an art school. But my parent said: No!! They think (thought) that it can (could) not be my job. (And the major cause of)==>The major reason why I could not go to an art school was that the art school tuition is (was) very expensive.
So I have to change my aim to be an average high school student. (I study hard after stay in class at home time)==>???, I hope that I can (matriculate)==>be admitted to a great school. But I did bad on the entrance exam, (my parents were letdown to)==>and my parents were disappointed at me. (And they hope me to go to the five years establish school, they think it’s better for me.)==>Because of the concern of my future, they thought it would be better for me to go to a five-year college. (So)==>That was why I entrance Mingchi University Of Technology. (It’s the 王永慶established school.)==>It is one of the schools that were established by the famous entrpreneur, 王永慶. My parents (think about that I can find the great jobs)==thought that I could find a great job after I graduated from this school. (And my grades just can distribute me to chemical engineering departmentalism.)==>My grades in the entrance exam could only allow me to enter the Department of Chemical Engineering.
(A experience of that five years, let me learning)==>Five-year study at Ming-Chi made me learn a lot of things about life. (In twice sandwich courses, I learned some different people at different degree.)==>??? And I (appreciated)=>? what is important for life.
(As matter of course)==>??? I (matriculate)==>was admitted to NTUST after graduated (graduating) from MUT. I (not conditioned)==>did not get used to NTUST’s instruction in the first year, so I (within an ace of leave school)==>almost dropped out of the school. (It’s cause me loss ardor of study, I doubt me that I don’t like study.)==>It was because I lost ardor of studying. I doubted that I did not like studying anymore. Chemical engineering (including a lot of discipline,)==>includes a lot of subjects and I didn’t do well in anything. So I always get (got) bad grades, and my best grades is :Chinese!!
I will graduate from (here)==>NTUST this June. I (attended)==>took three graduate school tests in March this year, if I could not (matriculate)=>enter any schools, I will finish my military service first and (I can think what is I wanted during soldiering)==>think about what I will do during my military service.
***You talked a lot of things related to the choice of your major. It would be better that you come up with a topic sentence in the beginning to organize the major points that are reated to the topic. Actually you can delete some parts that are not relevant to the topic to make your paragraph more unified (整體性).
A9403150 (A1)
Why did you choose your major?(2)
I chose to major in the mechanical engineering because when I graduated (at)=>from junior high school, I did not know what (interest my favorite)==>my interest was. So I choose mechanical engineering out of nothing special. At first I did not like mechanical engineering because I (feel it is very difficult so I start hate it)==>felt it was very difficult. Therefore, I started to hate it. (Even I want to give up mechanical engineering but my family did not agree.)==> I even wanted to give it up but my family did not agree with my decision. (So I carry on mechanical engineering)==>So I kept on studying mechanical engineering. (but now I already like mechanical engineering because I found my interest from learned process.)==>But now I start to like mechanical engineering because I found my interest from the learnig process. (There are many subjects my favorite now)==>There are many subjects that I like now,such as engineering mathematics so I did (do) not hate mechanical engineering anymore. Now I feel that (interseting)=>interest can be cultivated so everybody should (chose oneself favorite which oneself chose.)==> love what he has chosen. I enjoy it very much now.
I chose to major in the mechanical engineering because when I graduated (at)=>from junior high school, I did not know what (interest my favorite)==>my interest was. So I choose mechanical engineering out of nothing special. At first I did not like mechanical engineering because I (feel it is very difficult so I start hate it)==>felt it was very difficult. Therefore, I started to hate it. (Even I want to give up mechanical engineering but my family did not agree.)==> I even wanted to give it up but my family did not agree with my decision. (So I carry on mechanical engineering)==>So I kept on studying mechanical engineering. (but now I already like mechanical engineering because I found my interest from learned process.)==>But now I start to like mechanical engineering because I found my interest from the learnig process. (There are many subjects my favorite now)==>There are many subjects that I like now,such as engineering mathematics so I did (do) not hate mechanical engineering anymore. Now I feel that (interseting)=>interest can be cultivated so everybody should (chose oneself favorite which oneself chose.)==> love what he has chosen. I enjoy it very much now.
A9403126 (A1)
Why do (did) you choose your major?
I chose to become a mechanical engineering(ME) major because I was luckily admitted to Ming-Chi (please write down the full name) by college entrance exams, though I was not doing well in the senior high school entrance exam. Still, I am wondering why my exam scores were far poorer than the mock tests.
For the first reason why I chose to enter Ming-Chi, because my liberal arts was a little poor in junior high, I thought I will (would) be in trouble if I entered senior high school to face deeper and more difficult liberal arts. But in ME field, liberal arts are not a necessary subjects. By the way, I like to study maths in my spare time, so I am good at it. (Thus)==>Maths is also the most important tool in ME. I (think it is easier)==>thought it would make it easier for me to start my learning journey of ME. The second reason was that my family and relatives encouraged me to study ME in Ming-Chi and aimed at National Taiwan University ((os Scuence)=>of Science and Technology(NTUST). They thought ME was (general)==>what do you mean by that? and developing, and NTUST is famous in ME area. In fact, I was not sure if I did have interest (of)=>in it at that time, but I would like to try it.
At first, I did not like my major; however, later I had grown fond of it, because of the following reasons. First, I had found some subjects to become more and more interesting to me, such as Dynamics, Manufactures, and Materials. Second, from the course, “Factory Practice”, I have learned about the difference between theory in the text books and practice in real life. For example, I have come to know that it is not easy to mange a factory. Third, my uncles would usually tell me something about how to make a new product manufactured by machine and my teachers have also taught me about the importance of manufacturing techniques. That is why I have got more and more interest in my major courses.
Now, as I enjoy my major more than ever, I am convinced of my right choice. As an old saying goes, “One may distinguish himself in any trade", I think as long as one tries his best to do what he has chosen to do, he will overcome all the problems or obstacles to finally achieve his study goal.==>Good conclusion! I agree with you.
***Fluent writing.
I chose to become a mechanical engineering(ME) major because I was luckily admitted to Ming-Chi (please write down the full name) by college entrance exams, though I was not doing well in the senior high school entrance exam. Still, I am wondering why my exam scores were far poorer than the mock tests.
For the first reason why I chose to enter Ming-Chi, because my liberal arts was a little poor in junior high, I thought I will (would) be in trouble if I entered senior high school to face deeper and more difficult liberal arts. But in ME field, liberal arts are not a necessary subjects. By the way, I like to study maths in my spare time, so I am good at it. (Thus)==>Maths is also the most important tool in ME. I (think it is easier)==>thought it would make it easier for me to start my learning journey of ME. The second reason was that my family and relatives encouraged me to study ME in Ming-Chi and aimed at National Taiwan University ((os Scuence)=>of Science and Technology(NTUST). They thought ME was (general)==>what do you mean by that? and developing, and NTUST is famous in ME area. In fact, I was not sure if I did have interest (of)=>in it at that time, but I would like to try it.
At first, I did not like my major; however, later I had grown fond of it, because of the following reasons. First, I had found some subjects to become more and more interesting to me, such as Dynamics, Manufactures, and Materials. Second, from the course, “Factory Practice”, I have learned about the difference between theory in the text books and practice in real life. For example, I have come to know that it is not easy to mange a factory. Third, my uncles would usually tell me something about how to make a new product manufactured by machine and my teachers have also taught me about the importance of manufacturing techniques. That is why I have got more and more interest in my major courses.
Now, as I enjoy my major more than ever, I am convinced of my right choice. As an old saying goes, “One may distinguish himself in any trade", I think as long as one tries his best to do what he has chosen to do, he will overcome all the problems or obstacles to finally achieve his study goal.==>Good conclusion! I agree with you.
***Fluent writing.
A9403080 (A1)
WHY DID U CHOOSE YOUR MAJOR II ?
My major is mechanical engineering.
My dad do pioneering work when I was so young. It's an enterprise about mechanical engineering, and it is a successful enterprise. So my mom wished me can do the same job in the same company. I think I was too young and I (haven't be)=>was not ready to choose my major at that time, but i (I) know that everything (all have the)==>has a connection with the mechanical (mechanics), and I thought it might be easy to find a job in the future. So I didn't choose a high school, I choose (chose) to enter the Ming-Chi institute of technology .
(Then I enter the Ming-Chi institute of technology)==>?? a redudanct sentence. But my arithmetics is poor , the lesson is always about the arithmetics , such as Dynamics and Engineering Mathematics. I suffered from setbacks so much in the exams that I have lost my interest in (mechanics). But it's difficult to find a new major and learn it all over again . Now I just hope that I can graduate from Ntust (NTUST) successfully. I am tired to be a student.
However, I think some people choose their majors because they do well on their majors . I do (did) well on (my university of technology's entrance exams)==>the entrance exams of technological universities, so I (join to)=>joined NTUST. (maybe)==>If I can take more time to do well on all programs about arithmetics, I will enjoy my major more.
***It is suggested that you come up with a topic sentence in the beginning to organized the main points that you are going to describe in the following of your paragraph.
My major is mechanical engineering.
My dad do pioneering work when I was so young. It's an enterprise about mechanical engineering, and it is a successful enterprise. So my mom wished me can do the same job in the same company. I think I was too young and I (haven't be)=>was not ready to choose my major at that time, but i (I) know that everything (all have the)==>has a connection with the mechanical (mechanics), and I thought it might be easy to find a job in the future. So I didn't choose a high school, I choose (chose) to enter the Ming-Chi institute of technology .
(Then I enter the Ming-Chi institute of technology)==>?? a redudanct sentence. But my arithmetics is poor , the lesson is always about the arithmetics , such as Dynamics and Engineering Mathematics. I suffered from setbacks so much in the exams that I have lost my interest in (mechanics). But it's difficult to find a new major and learn it all over again . Now I just hope that I can graduate from Ntust (NTUST) successfully. I am tired to be a student.
However, I think some people choose their majors because they do well on their majors . I do (did) well on (my university of technology's entrance exams)==>the entrance exams of technological universities, so I (join to)=>joined NTUST. (maybe)==>If I can take more time to do well on all programs about arithmetics, I will enjoy my major more.
***It is suggested that you come up with a topic sentence in the beginning to organized the main points that you are going to describe in the following of your paragraph.
A9403016 (A1)
Why did I choose my major?
There was a story about why I (chose my major that)==>delete this part I have studied at the Department of Mechanical Design Engineering in National Huwei University for five years and Department of Mechanical Engineering in National Taiwan University of Science and Technology for two years. When I was a junior high school student, I did not know much about how many majors/subjects there were and what they exactly did. I just studied very hard for entering a great senior high school day by day like any other third-grade classmates. One day, one of my classmates told me that there was a (college boards)==>what do you mean by that?, and he desired to get the entrance. I thought it was a good opportunity to get an experience before high schools' (association tests)==>entrance exams, so we took the test together. Unfortunately, he did not pass the test, but I did. When I got the entrance, I was not happy at the beginning. Because all of my classmates had the same goal and concept to get into the top three senior high school, National Taichung First Senior High School, National Wen-Hua Senior High School, National Taichung Second Senior High School. Also, we wanted to graduate from top three high schools and go into the top university(universities) to study medical science or law for being a doctor or lawyer. Both of them could help people from pain and was highly respected at the society. That was what we called "Perfect".However, I was tired to study for those high schools' association tests from morning to night day after day, so I decided to go to the college. And I was assigned to the Department of Mechanical Engineering by the scores. Now I have studied many courses like Dynamics, Computer Aided Design, Mech-tronics in Mechanical Engineering for 7 years. I found out that the machinery had played an important role since industrial revolutions and had effected the way we live nowadays from our daily life to heavy industry. For example, the cell phones and computers peripheral we use today is getting smaller and lighter, the new material must be developed and the accurate processes must be revolutionized to make those tiny components. In addition, the energy crisis problems had come out for many years, the technicians and mechanic experts need to advance the efficiency of power engines to reduce the oil quantity we use. These projects and problems are so (necessary)=>emergent that all of the technicians and mechanic experts should (have)=>delete this word solve immediately. I am interested in solving these problems and have the responsibility and duty to figure out these emergencies because I am an engineer. Also, I am so pride (proud) of myself if I could do (a little favor)==something for this world. That was the reason why I chose "Mechanic" as my major.
***Fluent writing. Good to know that you want to do something for us in this world. I appreicate your good intentions.
There was a story about why I (chose my major that)==>delete this part I have studied at the Department of Mechanical Design Engineering in National Huwei University for five years and Department of Mechanical Engineering in National Taiwan University of Science and Technology for two years. When I was a junior high school student, I did not know much about how many majors/subjects there were and what they exactly did. I just studied very hard for entering a great senior high school day by day like any other third-grade classmates. One day, one of my classmates told me that there was a (college boards)==>what do you mean by that?, and he desired to get the entrance. I thought it was a good opportunity to get an experience before high schools' (association tests)==>entrance exams, so we took the test together. Unfortunately, he did not pass the test, but I did. When I got the entrance, I was not happy at the beginning. Because all of my classmates had the same goal and concept to get into the top three senior high school, National Taichung First Senior High School, National Wen-Hua Senior High School, National Taichung Second Senior High School. Also, we wanted to graduate from top three high schools and go into the top university(universities) to study medical science or law for being a doctor or lawyer. Both of them could help people from pain and was highly respected at the society. That was what we called "Perfect".However, I was tired to study for those high schools' association tests from morning to night day after day, so I decided to go to the college. And I was assigned to the Department of Mechanical Engineering by the scores. Now I have studied many courses like Dynamics, Computer Aided Design, Mech-tronics in Mechanical Engineering for 7 years. I found out that the machinery had played an important role since industrial revolutions and had effected the way we live nowadays from our daily life to heavy industry. For example, the cell phones and computers peripheral we use today is getting smaller and lighter, the new material must be developed and the accurate processes must be revolutionized to make those tiny components. In addition, the energy crisis problems had come out for many years, the technicians and mechanic experts need to advance the efficiency of power engines to reduce the oil quantity we use. These projects and problems are so (necessary)=>emergent that all of the technicians and mechanic experts should (have)=>delete this word solve immediately. I am interested in solving these problems and have the responsibility and duty to figure out these emergencies because I am an engineer. Also, I am so pride (proud) of myself if I could do (a little favor)==something for this world. That was the reason why I chose "Mechanic" as my major.
***Fluent writing. Good to know that you want to do something for us in this world. I appreicate your good intentions.
A9403014 (A1)
Why do (did) I choose my major ? part two
My major is mechanical engineering. When I was in my junior high school, I found that my English skills are a little poor. So, I choose (chose) (the engineering majors instead of business majors)==>mechanical engineering as my major instead of business. In these days, I find (found) that there is an important reason for me to choose my major. This is because my grades are not (enough well)==>good enough to study in electrical engineering, and I have to choose mechanical engineering to study finally. I have learned it for seven years. I think that I do not have any interests (interest) in it, and I have more interests (interest) in computer science engineering. I have ever considered (transfered)=>to transfer my major at first, but it is (was) very difficult to me, and I have to learn it (mechanical engineering or computer science engineering?) again. Thereforce, I decided to continue studying mechanical engineering. In conclusion, if I (were in)==>were back to my junior high school, I (will formulate it)==>would think about choosing my major very seriously. I think that a traditional concept to use the mechanical machines is a little (anachronism,)==>What do you mean by that? but machines are still necessary in our lives. I believe it is easy to find a job in the future with my major and that is why so many people want to study it. By the way, no matter what kind of majors you choose now, to learn (the)=>delete it English well is more important than (the expertise)==>??? Please elaborate on it. My English is still not so good, I hope I can (learn it a lot)==>improve on it after graduating from a (research institute)==> do you mean "graduate school"?
***Please pay attention to verb tense and word usage.
My major is mechanical engineering. When I was in my junior high school, I found that my English skills are a little poor. So, I choose (chose) (the engineering majors instead of business majors)==>mechanical engineering as my major instead of business. In these days, I find (found) that there is an important reason for me to choose my major. This is because my grades are not (enough well)==>good enough to study in electrical engineering, and I have to choose mechanical engineering to study finally. I have learned it for seven years. I think that I do not have any interests (interest) in it, and I have more interests (interest) in computer science engineering. I have ever considered (transfered)=>to transfer my major at first, but it is (was) very difficult to me, and I have to learn it (mechanical engineering or computer science engineering?) again. Thereforce, I decided to continue studying mechanical engineering. In conclusion, if I (were in)==>were back to my junior high school, I (will formulate it)==>would think about choosing my major very seriously. I think that a traditional concept to use the mechanical machines is a little (anachronism,)==>What do you mean by that? but machines are still necessary in our lives. I believe it is easy to find a job in the future with my major and that is why so many people want to study it. By the way, no matter what kind of majors you choose now, to learn (the)=>delete it English well is more important than (the expertise)==>??? Please elaborate on it. My English is still not so good, I hope I can (learn it a lot)==>improve on it after graduating from a (research institute)==> do you mean "graduate school"?
***Please pay attention to verb tense and word usage.
9402026 (A1)
why did i choose my major (second ver.)?
I may be (maybe) choose the major of electronic engineering (for honor)==>What do you mean by that? Why did i (I) say for honor? I think it may relate with my father's friends.When I study in (institute of technology which is not famous among people)==>Do mean "When I was studying in my junior college, which is not famous) in Taiwan. My father's friends or relatives alway ask me what is your studying (delete it, 去掉) school? I just anser (told) the truth; however, (I always get hurt from them)=>their reaction to it always hurt me. To make them treat me with increased respect, I make up my mind to study in a famous major in a famous school. that (That) is one of the reasons why I choose (chose) my major. Another reason and the primary reason why I study in this major is interest in my major. (Begin in my childhood)==>The reason could be traced back to my childhood. When I was young, my parents bought a computer for me. At that time, I just had no idea with it(cpu is 80286). This new machine is curious (not an appropriate word here) and fresh for me .I tried to comprehend it and had a lot of fun in (with) it. When the computer break (broke) down,I would try to repaired it and (begin interested)==>started to be interested in computer structure. So, (I have two reason for me to reading the major--honor and interest)==>There are two reasons for me to choose my major: being repected by others and my interest.
***Please pay attention to punctuation, verb tense, and word usage.
I may be (maybe) choose the major of electronic engineering (for honor)==>What do you mean by that? Why did i (I) say for honor? I think it may relate with my father's friends.When I study in (institute of technology which is not famous among people)==>Do mean "When I was studying in my junior college, which is not famous) in Taiwan. My father's friends or relatives alway ask me what is your studying (delete it, 去掉) school? I just anser (told) the truth; however, (I always get hurt from them)=>their reaction to it always hurt me. To make them treat me with increased respect, I make up my mind to study in a famous major in a famous school. that (That) is one of the reasons why I choose (chose) my major. Another reason and the primary reason why I study in this major is interest in my major. (Begin in my childhood)==>The reason could be traced back to my childhood. When I was young, my parents bought a computer for me. At that time, I just had no idea with it(cpu is 80286). This new machine is curious (not an appropriate word here) and fresh for me .I tried to comprehend it and had a lot of fun in (with) it. When the computer break (broke) down,I would try to repaired it and (begin interested)==>started to be interested in computer structure. So, (I have two reason for me to reading the major--honor and interest)==>There are two reasons for me to choose my major: being repected by others and my interest.
***Please pay attention to punctuation, verb tense, and word usage.
Introduction
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