The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life. (2nd)
One of the most important inventions of the 20th centenary is the credit card. The credit card was invented by Mr. Mikenamala from Manhattan in 1950. The first bank which issued credit cards is VISA and it's the biggest credit card bank now. One advantage of credit cards is that we don't have to carry lots of cash, so we don't have to be afraid of seeking (a mount)==>an amount of money when we need them. Second, we can get extra bonus with credit cards. Third, using credit cards can make the store owners feel safe. They can avoid using a large number of cash. Therefore, it is (an away)==>a way to protect (them)==>who, or what?.
We will be embarrassing if we don't have enough money to pay (the)=>a dinner, but now we don't have to worry about it because of credit cards. On the other hand, we can use credit cards adding fuel to our cars, buying clothes, buying a car, shopping etc... What's more, if we don't have enough money, we can borrow money from the bank with our credit cards. However, it's not ideal because the interest is very high.
Getting bonus from banks is also an advantage with the use of credit cards. Banks use bonus to attract more people to use their credit cards. In addition, some banks provide cheaper price [[when we seeing the movies or adding fuel]]==>for us to go to a movie or add fuel. When using credit cards, some banks will offer (we)=>us some “credits". We can exchange merchandise with the “credits”.
Credit cards can make the store owners feel safer because they don't have to keep lots of cash which [[is got from the customer in store]]==>they get from the customers. Therefore, it can avoid robbing or reducing the damage when (robbing)==>a robbery occurs. What's more, they can save the time (on)=>in taking the money to the bank every day.
Certainly, there are more advantages of using credit cards. Banks improve the safety design of credit cards. They use chips to reduce fake cards now. Credit cards appear in lots of occasions. And I wish that we can carry no cash in the future.
***Clear and orgainzed article.
2007年6月14日 星期四
2007年6月7日 星期四
B9415005 (A3)
Assignment 3(2nd edition): The Invention of Mobile Phone
In this modern city (society), mobile phone has been (become) one of the most important tools. We can see that all people on the road must have at least one cell phone. [[It just like a signal with the technical life]]==>It looks like a symbol of a modern life. [[What is the attractions mobile phone has]]==>Why mobile phone is so attractive that everyone loves to use it?
First, mobile phone is convenient. Mobile phone can phone somebody at once and everywhere. If you want to talk to your family, chat to (with) your lover, or meet you partner, you don't (do not) have to spend lots of time finding a public telephone. Just pick this little machine and click (dial) the number, and you can finish these immediately. Next, mobile phone is useful. [[During the development in mobile phone, it have been]]==>Mobile phone has been developed not only for a "phone" only but also for a multi-function phone. In addition to calling your friend, you can also send a short message to them. It is a good thing to let us communicate to (with) someone who can't (cannot) answer the phone in a minute. Besides, mobile phone can be like a notebook. You can write down something just like meeting, exams...and so on, so you do not have to bring your unnecessary jotter. You can also play little games in (on) mobile phone! During your boring time, you can play your mobile phone to kill the time and wait for your friend. It is so interesting! Third, mobile phone is potential. Although mobile phone is very convenient for us now, [[it still develop lots of useful utility]]==>there are still more useful utilities to be developed]] continually. Before long, we can see someone surfing the Internet by his phone and another one enjoying the movie at the same time. There are more and more [[cell phones be unusual]]==>unique cell phones. Maybe we can imagine that a mobile phone (were)=>is to be a laptop! We could do everything in (on) our cell phone!
In conclusion, mobile phone have (has) lots of advantages for us and effect (affects) our lives a lot. [[It is not]]==>There is no doubt that mobile phone is a progressive (advanced), convenient and essential goods in this life. Moreover, mobile phone [[still develops continually]]==>is still under development now. [[It has not stop in the limit of the technology]]==>There is no limit to the technology. We can believe that there were (will be) lots of more useful and convenient mobile phones occurred in the future.
***A detailed description of the effects of mobile phone.
In this modern city (society), mobile phone has been (become) one of the most important tools. We can see that all people on the road must have at least one cell phone. [[It just like a signal with the technical life]]==>It looks like a symbol of a modern life. [[What is the attractions mobile phone has]]==>Why mobile phone is so attractive that everyone loves to use it?
First, mobile phone is convenient. Mobile phone can phone somebody at once and everywhere. If you want to talk to your family, chat to (with) your lover, or meet you partner, you don't (do not) have to spend lots of time finding a public telephone. Just pick this little machine and click (dial) the number, and you can finish these immediately. Next, mobile phone is useful. [[During the development in mobile phone, it have been]]==>Mobile phone has been developed not only for a "phone" only but also for a multi-function phone. In addition to calling your friend, you can also send a short message to them. It is a good thing to let us communicate to (with) someone who can't (cannot) answer the phone in a minute. Besides, mobile phone can be like a notebook. You can write down something just like meeting, exams...and so on, so you do not have to bring your unnecessary jotter. You can also play little games in (on) mobile phone! During your boring time, you can play your mobile phone to kill the time and wait for your friend. It is so interesting! Third, mobile phone is potential. Although mobile phone is very convenient for us now, [[it still develop lots of useful utility]]==>there are still more useful utilities to be developed]] continually. Before long, we can see someone surfing the Internet by his phone and another one enjoying the movie at the same time. There are more and more [[cell phones be unusual]]==>unique cell phones. Maybe we can imagine that a mobile phone (were)=>is to be a laptop! We could do everything in (on) our cell phone!
In conclusion, mobile phone have (has) lots of advantages for us and effect (affects) our lives a lot. [[It is not]]==>There is no doubt that mobile phone is a progressive (advanced), convenient and essential goods in this life. Moreover, mobile phone [[still develops continually]]==>is still under development now. [[It has not stop in the limit of the technology]]==>There is no limit to the technology. We can believe that there were (will be) lots of more useful and convenient mobile phones occurred in the future.
***A detailed description of the effects of mobile phone.
B9415002 (A3)
The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life (II)
The Internet without doubt is one of the most important inventions in modern life, maybe the one that mostly changed our life style.
The Information delivery really changed in a positive way thanks to the Internet. You can be informed about the entire world only with some clicks by reading newspapers from countries that perhaps you never heard about and also seeing their television channels. (Does not)=>No matter where you are, if you have a computer and Internet connection you can know everything important that happened in your country.
Entertainment is [[other of the good points of]]==>another advantage of the Internet. [[you can pass hours and hours explore the web and do not feel boring]]==>You can indulge yourself in exploring the Internet without feeling bored. On-line games, music, videos and all that you can imagine [[is certainly exist]]==>are inside this virtual world. However, we need to be [[carefully]]==>careful about the use of the Internet and do not become addicted to it because this (is already one)=>has become a problem in the modern society.
I consider that the other two important (facilities)=>functions of the Internet are the e-mail and e-business. E-mail is faster and cheaper than regular Post Office mail, so it inevitably became the most popular way to communicate with family or friends; therefore, the number of users continues rising. Then, we have the giant e-business, which (became)=>has become more and more popular around the world; clothes, books, cd’s (CDs), cosmetics, foods, and much more [[is ready to buy in]]==>are available on the Internet. For convenience and some times (sometimes) price, shopping on-line is the option that a lot of people choose every day.
In conclusion, I think that the invention of the Internet makes our lives easier in (different)=>many ways and is already part of our lives. [[from now we can enjoy the advantages that the Internet offer to us without became addict to it!]]==>From now on, we should try to enjoy the advantages that the Internet bring us without becoming addicted to it!
***In your article, you talk about both the change and function of the Internet. You might want to make your article more focused by making a thesis statement to include the main points that you want to discuss. "...mostly changed our life style." seems a too general statement.
The Internet without doubt is one of the most important inventions in modern life, maybe the one that mostly changed our life style.
The Information delivery really changed in a positive way thanks to the Internet. You can be informed about the entire world only with some clicks by reading newspapers from countries that perhaps you never heard about and also seeing their television channels. (Does not)=>No matter where you are, if you have a computer and Internet connection you can know everything important that happened in your country.
Entertainment is [[other of the good points of]]==>another advantage of the Internet. [[you can pass hours and hours explore the web and do not feel boring]]==>You can indulge yourself in exploring the Internet without feeling bored. On-line games, music, videos and all that you can imagine [[is certainly exist]]==>are inside this virtual world. However, we need to be [[carefully]]==>careful about the use of the Internet and do not become addicted to it because this (is already one)=>has become a problem in the modern society.
I consider that the other two important (facilities)=>functions of the Internet are the e-mail and e-business. E-mail is faster and cheaper than regular Post Office mail, so it inevitably became the most popular way to communicate with family or friends; therefore, the number of users continues rising. Then, we have the giant e-business, which (became)=>has become more and more popular around the world; clothes, books, cd’s (CDs), cosmetics, foods, and much more [[is ready to buy in]]==>are available on the Internet. For convenience and some times (sometimes) price, shopping on-line is the option that a lot of people choose every day.
In conclusion, I think that the invention of the Internet makes our lives easier in (different)=>many ways and is already part of our lives. [[from now we can enjoy the advantages that the Internet offer to us without became addict to it!]]==>From now on, we should try to enjoy the advantages that the Internet bring us without becoming addicted to it!
***In your article, you talk about both the change and function of the Internet. You might want to make your article more focused by making a thesis statement to include the main points that you want to discuss. "...mostly changed our life style." seems a too general statement.
B9409053 (A3)
The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life【# 2】
There are many innovations which have changed the way people go about their lives. The top one is the Internet. The Internet is widely used on business, education, entertainment and so on, it can be seen everywhere. People use the Internet every day; it [[makes large effects]]==>has a huge effect on this world.
The most conspicuous (obvious) effect is the [[information of the communication]]==>the delivery of information. The Internet has become an important means of communication. Industries deal with their business by using the Internet, for example, customers can buy products on (the)=>a company's website, or (the)=>a company can sent (send) the latest product's DM to overseas manufacturers immediately by “E-mail.” Additionally, we can know the things happened not only at our home town but also those in the world when you surf the Internet. It saves us a lot of time to get information and communicate with other people.
The globe has become smaller after the Internet appeared. With a click, you can go anywhere in the world without leaving home. You can go to class in Harvard University by "distance learning", it is a method of instruction and learning designed to overcome problems of time and space by allowing students to study in their own homes on the Internet. It is very convenient and it can save (our)=>us changed this world, and it affects our everyday lives. Without the Internet, the world will in a complete mess today. It is the most important innovation in modern life.much money and time. Moreover, maybe you will meet foreign friends in "Netnews" or "Chatroom"; this is a chance that you can make friends with foreigners. "Space" has vanished, we live in a global village. ==>Good description.
There are many innovations which have changed the way people go about their lives. The top one is the Internet. The Internet is widely used on business, education, entertainment and so on, it can be seen everywhere. People use the Internet every day; it [[makes large effects]]==>has a huge effect on this world.
The most conspicuous (obvious) effect is the [[information of the communication]]==>the delivery of information. The Internet has become an important means of communication. Industries deal with their business by using the Internet, for example, customers can buy products on (the)=>a company's website, or (the)=>a company can sent (send) the latest product's DM to overseas manufacturers immediately by “E-mail.” Additionally, we can know the things happened not only at our home town but also those in the world when you surf the Internet. It saves us a lot of time to get information and communicate with other people.
The globe has become smaller after the Internet appeared. With a click, you can go anywhere in the world without leaving home. You can go to class in Harvard University by "distance learning", it is a method of instruction and learning designed to overcome problems of time and space by allowing students to study in their own homes on the Internet. It is very convenient and it can save (our)=>us changed this world, and it affects our everyday lives. Without the Internet, the world will in a complete mess today. It is the most important innovation in modern life.much money and time. Moreover, maybe you will meet foreign friends in "Netnews" or "Chatroom"; this is a chance that you can make friends with foreigners. "Space" has vanished, we live in a global village. ==>Good description.
In conclusion, although the Internet [[takes some bad influence such as some “modern disease” and the personal privacy may be seen, but it is no doubt ]]==>has some bad influences, such as addiction to the Internt and the intrusion of personal privacy, there is no doubt that the Internet has changed this world, and it affects our everyday lives. Without the Internet, the world will in a complete mess today. It is the most important innovation in modern life.==>Good conclusion!
B9409026 (A3)
The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life(end)
I think evryone must have a computer, we use computer to do many things.And the most important [[one is the Internet]]==>function of a computer is the Internet connection. Internet (is)=>has become popular in recent years, it (effects)=>affects our life very much.Then you will ask how the internet is important?
Think about it, you use the Internet to (take)=>receive e-mails, and you can play online games (in)=>on the Internet, the most important is that you can (take)=>make friends who come from (around)=>all over the world. Even now, we have e-learning that teach me (many)=>much knowleage. And the internet (is)=>has become one of our life; we also use it to store our important date (data), and we can use it to hold a meeting. If you are a student , you must use it to finish your homework, and sometimes you may use it to find the answer (of)=>to questions.Or you can use Internet to contact your parents through MSN or Yahoo! or QQ. And if you want to hear the voice of your parents or friends, you can use the microphone. Moreover, you can use the video to see the people that you want to see.
Therefore, our [[live has become can’t depart to]]==>lives cannot be detached from the Internet. It [[effect our life]]==>affects our lives enormously. For example, when you come back to home (come back home), your first thing is [[that open]]==>turn on your computer to see your Blog or see [[your friends whether is]]==>whether your friends are online. And somebody who works maybe take computer anytime so that (they)=>he can know everything that (they want)=>he wants to know, or do (their works)==>his job. Or you can (see many)==>search much information (in)=>on the Internet so that you don’t have to go to the library. [[Maby]]==>One day if you want to learn something, you don’t have to go to the conference, you can learn that by e-learning.
There are more and more things you can do on the Internet that makes our life become very convenient, and [[let our eyesight become broad]]==>broad our views. Use of the Internet also makes our thinking free. But some effects of the Internet (is)=>are not very good. [[if you take the friend or buy something on the internet, you may be cheated, that make you lose many things.]]==>For example, you might be cheated by friends that you make on the Internet or online shopping. [[And the online game may let you drift, so that you may always play the games , and your grade or your life may be become bad.]]==>Also, you might be addicted to online games, which has a really bad influence on your grades and life. [[It's all effect us , so that we must control ourself do not let the internet destroy our life.]]==>Therefore, we should well control the use of the Internet and do not let the Internet destroy our lives. We must let the Internet become a helper of our life.
***An article with many good ideas. Try to pay attention to your grammar and the choice of words to make your ideas clearer.
I think evryone must have a computer, we use computer to do many things.And the most important [[one is the Internet]]==>function of a computer is the Internet connection. Internet (is)=>has become popular in recent years, it (effects)=>affects our life very much.Then you will ask how the internet is important?
Think about it, you use the Internet to (take)=>receive e-mails, and you can play online games (in)=>on the Internet, the most important is that you can (take)=>make friends who come from (around)=>all over the world. Even now, we have e-learning that teach me (many)=>much knowleage. And the internet (is)=>has become one of our life; we also use it to store our important date (data), and we can use it to hold a meeting. If you are a student , you must use it to finish your homework, and sometimes you may use it to find the answer (of)=>to questions.Or you can use Internet to contact your parents through MSN or Yahoo! or QQ. And if you want to hear the voice of your parents or friends, you can use the microphone. Moreover, you can use the video to see the people that you want to see.
Therefore, our [[live has become can’t depart to]]==>lives cannot be detached from the Internet. It [[effect our life]]==>affects our lives enormously. For example, when you come back to home (come back home), your first thing is [[that open]]==>turn on your computer to see your Blog or see [[your friends whether is]]==>whether your friends are online. And somebody who works maybe take computer anytime so that (they)=>he can know everything that (they want)=>he wants to know, or do (their works)==>his job. Or you can (see many)==>search much information (in)=>on the Internet so that you don’t have to go to the library. [[Maby]]==>One day if you want to learn something, you don’t have to go to the conference, you can learn that by e-learning.
There are more and more things you can do on the Internet that makes our life become very convenient, and [[let our eyesight become broad]]==>broad our views. Use of the Internet also makes our thinking free. But some effects of the Internet (is)=>are not very good. [[if you take the friend or buy something on the internet, you may be cheated, that make you lose many things.]]==>For example, you might be cheated by friends that you make on the Internet or online shopping. [[And the online game may let you drift, so that you may always play the games , and your grade or your life may be become bad.]]==>Also, you might be addicted to online games, which has a really bad influence on your grades and life. [[It's all effect us , so that we must control ourself do not let the internet destroy our life.]]==>Therefore, we should well control the use of the Internet and do not let the Internet destroy our lives. We must let the Internet become a helper of our life.
***An article with many good ideas. Try to pay attention to your grammar and the choice of words to make your ideas clearer.
B9409024 (A3)
#2 The effects of a washing machine without water
Last year a student who had graduated from the University of New South Wales innovated a washing machine which can use sunlight instead of water and washing powder to wash clothes. According to the student's design, the light in the house can operate powerful oxidants which can decompose filth into carbon dioxide and water. I think that it will be popular because it can save water, reduce the usage of washing powder, and there is the smell of sunlight on the clothes
The most important effect of the washing machine is to save water. Saving water is a very important issue. It is said that on (in) 2025 if we only depends (depend) on the source of nature, [[that population of 7000 million of world]]==>the world population of 7000 million people will face the pressure of (water of shortage)==>water shortage, even [[so the nation there are]]==>in the area where there is affluent water, such as America and China. If there are adequante solutions to the problem of (water of shortage)==>water shortage, we do not [[scare to take the bath and cultivate crops without water.]]==>have to worry about taking a bath and cultivate crops by consuming water.
The second effect of the washing machine is to reduce the usage of washing powder.We should use little washing powder owing to it causes not only the pollution of environment but also a variety of diseases. The lakes in my country are in eutrophication because of a great deal of phosphorus. In addition, the composition of surfactant in washing powder will excite (irritate) our skin and harm our health.
Another effect of the washing machine is that there is the smell of sunlight on the clothes. Having it, my clothes [[which there still are the smell of sunlight whether the weather is bad]]==>will still smell good even the wether is bad.
In conclusion, the washing machine helps a lot on the part of environmental protection no matter how to save water or reduce the pollution of environment. I believe that it will become essential in our lives. If you have a heart loving the earth, it is time to act-buying one.
***A clear and organized article. A really interesting invention!
Last year a student who had graduated from the University of New South Wales innovated a washing machine which can use sunlight instead of water and washing powder to wash clothes. According to the student's design, the light in the house can operate powerful oxidants which can decompose filth into carbon dioxide and water. I think that it will be popular because it can save water, reduce the usage of washing powder, and there is the smell of sunlight on the clothes
The most important effect of the washing machine is to save water. Saving water is a very important issue. It is said that on (in) 2025 if we only depends (depend) on the source of nature, [[that population of 7000 million of world]]==>the world population of 7000 million people will face the pressure of (water of shortage)==>water shortage, even [[so the nation there are]]==>in the area where there is affluent water, such as America and China. If there are adequante solutions to the problem of (water of shortage)==>water shortage, we do not [[scare to take the bath and cultivate crops without water.]]==>have to worry about taking a bath and cultivate crops by consuming water.
The second effect of the washing machine is to reduce the usage of washing powder.We should use little washing powder owing to it causes not only the pollution of environment but also a variety of diseases. The lakes in my country are in eutrophication because of a great deal of phosphorus. In addition, the composition of surfactant in washing powder will excite (irritate) our skin and harm our health.
Another effect of the washing machine is that there is the smell of sunlight on the clothes. Having it, my clothes [[which there still are the smell of sunlight whether the weather is bad]]==>will still smell good even the wether is bad.
In conclusion, the washing machine helps a lot on the part of environmental protection no matter how to save water or reduce the pollution of environment. I believe that it will become essential in our lives. If you have a heart loving the earth, it is time to act-buying one.
***A clear and organized article. A really interesting invention!
B9303045 (A3)
The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life(2nd)
In the modern times, the word of “efficiency” seems to be (requiring)=>a requirment for some people. They have to get or send [[the last information of their work at the first time]]==>???. So they use the Internet not only to receive e-mails or talk to someone, but also do work on the Internet. Many people of them hope that they can [[communicate information to]]==>communicate with each other anytime and everywhere, [[because they are working or other reasons]]==>???. Therefore, the invention of Wireless Local Area Network (WLAN) was developed in the modern times.
The first effect of the WLAN on modern life is location. Some people do not always stay at the same place, but they still can use the WLAN to send files or some information to someone who living (live) in the other city or country, and will not be limited at one place. They can send it (something) in the car, in the restaurant, under a tree, or anywhere that has WLAN. They also can surf the Internet and watch the online live baseball game, when they are in the coffee shop.
The second effect of the WLAN on modern life is timing (time). For example, if we want to get some information outside, we can save much time to fine (find) a library and reach it, and use the WLAN to find what you need. Moreover, even if we are not at the office, we (also can)==>can also receive the important data at once, and handle it without delay. Besides, when you want to do some investments on the Internet, but you cannot reach home from outside or find a table computer on (at) the moment, maybe you will loss (lose) much money because you mess a change (miss a chance). But if you use the WLAN, you can do the investment right away.
Although the WLAN has not completely developed yet, we still can use the WLAN at many places. Such as at school, at a coffee shop, in a hospital, in a hotel, even on the MRT. The WLAN [[has set up]]==>is available at more and more places. Maybe someday we will send the information in the mountain, at the beach, even stand on the road if you want to.
***A fluent and organized article. But please rewriete some parts to make your ideas clearer.
In the modern times, the word of “efficiency” seems to be (requiring)=>a requirment for some people. They have to get or send [[the last information of their work at the first time]]==>???. So they use the Internet not only to receive e-mails or talk to someone, but also do work on the Internet. Many people of them hope that they can [[communicate information to]]==>communicate with each other anytime and everywhere, [[because they are working or other reasons]]==>???. Therefore, the invention of Wireless Local Area Network (WLAN) was developed in the modern times.
The first effect of the WLAN on modern life is location. Some people do not always stay at the same place, but they still can use the WLAN to send files or some information to someone who living (live) in the other city or country, and will not be limited at one place. They can send it (something) in the car, in the restaurant, under a tree, or anywhere that has WLAN. They also can surf the Internet and watch the online live baseball game, when they are in the coffee shop.
The second effect of the WLAN on modern life is timing (time). For example, if we want to get some information outside, we can save much time to fine (find) a library and reach it, and use the WLAN to find what you need. Moreover, even if we are not at the office, we (also can)==>can also receive the important data at once, and handle it without delay. Besides, when you want to do some investments on the Internet, but you cannot reach home from outside or find a table computer on (at) the moment, maybe you will loss (lose) much money because you mess a change (miss a chance). But if you use the WLAN, you can do the investment right away.
Although the WLAN has not completely developed yet, we still can use the WLAN at many places. Such as at school, at a coffee shop, in a hospital, in a hotel, even on the MRT. The WLAN [[has set up]]==>is available at more and more places. Maybe someday we will send the information in the mountain, at the beach, even stand on the road if you want to.
***A fluent and organized article. But please rewriete some parts to make your ideas clearer.
B9303009 (A3)
The disadvantage of the Internet
Nowadays, our life has mostly been shaped by technology. And one of the greatest impacts of technology is no other than the Internet. We have been using it in every aspect of our lives, such as searching for information, checking E-mails, and even buying everything. But there is a catch (problem). As the Internet grows more mature, people have gradually started being addicted to it.
The worst disadvantage of the Internet is addiction. They (People) would spend much time online. Unlike gambling and alcoholism, people are gradually addicted to it without knowing it through visiting websites, checking E-mails and chatting via instant messengers. Before long, they would neglect their work, school, families and sleep, to go online. And eventually that would lead to deep addiction.
The second disadvantage of the Internet is the confusion between the real world and the visual world. Many teenagers would access social networking sites for visual friendships. Often times, those new friends might use fake personal information in order to induce you to meet with them. And when it comes to meeting in person, they tend to ignore the hidden risks of kidnap and rape.
Whether or nor these disadvantages could be serious problems depends on how you [[conceive it]]==>regard them. After all, it (the Internet) is a tool. [[You should not be at mercy of the Internet]]==>Your work, school, families, and sleep should not be sacificed at the mercy of the Internet.. Record the time you spend online and remember that visual (person-to-person) interaction can not be replaced by visual interaction would definitely help you solve those problems.
***A concise article with good observation.
Nowadays, our life has mostly been shaped by technology. And one of the greatest impacts of technology is no other than the Internet. We have been using it in every aspect of our lives, such as searching for information, checking E-mails, and even buying everything. But there is a catch (problem). As the Internet grows more mature, people have gradually started being addicted to it.
The worst disadvantage of the Internet is addiction. They (People) would spend much time online. Unlike gambling and alcoholism, people are gradually addicted to it without knowing it through visiting websites, checking E-mails and chatting via instant messengers. Before long, they would neglect their work, school, families and sleep, to go online. And eventually that would lead to deep addiction.
The second disadvantage of the Internet is the confusion between the real world and the visual world. Many teenagers would access social networking sites for visual friendships. Often times, those new friends might use fake personal information in order to induce you to meet with them. And when it comes to meeting in person, they tend to ignore the hidden risks of kidnap and rape.
Whether or nor these disadvantages could be serious problems depends on how you [[conceive it]]==>regard them. After all, it (the Internet) is a tool. [[You should not be at mercy of the Internet]]==>Your work, school, families, and sleep should not be sacificed at the mercy of the Internet.. Record the time you spend online and remember that visual (person-to-person) interaction can not be replaced by visual interaction would definitely help you solve those problems.
***A concise article with good observation.
2007年6月4日 星期一
B9213028 (A3)
The Effects of an Invention in Modern Life
MSN messenger is a popular tool of communicate in the world. Almost everyone have (has) their own ID on msn messenger.MSN messenger is very convenient , fast, and the most important thing is that it is free.We can use MSN messenger to chat and discuss something or someone on the Internet.We offen input words waht (what) we want to tell to someone and press the key of enter,and the other side will receive your messenger (message) immediately. MSN messenger not only can send word messenger (message) but also can send symbols to increase the dramatization of dialogue. If you buy a microphone, you can talk with someone on the Internet. If you buy a video camera, you can let someone see you at once on the Internet.We can use MSN messenger to share our music, pictures, archives in our computer. Once upon a time, if we wanted to give someone archives, we had to use mail to send them to someone. Now,we can use MSN messenger to send our archives that is convenient and speedy. But, MSN mesenger always let us waste time unconsciously. If we do not control ourself, it is easy to waste time because MSN messenger is easy [[let us]]==>to make us crazy about it.
MSN messenger is a popular tool of communicate in the world. Almost everyone have (has) their own ID on msn messenger.MSN messenger is very convenient , fast, and the most important thing is that it is free.We can use MSN messenger to chat and discuss something or someone on the Internet.We offen input words waht (what) we want to tell to someone and press the key of enter,and the other side will receive your messenger (message) immediately. MSN messenger not only can send word messenger (message) but also can send symbols to increase the dramatization of dialogue. If you buy a microphone, you can talk with someone on the Internet. If you buy a video camera, you can let someone see you at once on the Internet.We can use MSN messenger to share our music, pictures, archives in our computer. Once upon a time, if we wanted to give someone archives, we had to use mail to send them to someone. Now,we can use MSN messenger to send our archives that is convenient and speedy. But, MSN mesenger always let us waste time unconsciously. If we do not control ourself, it is easy to waste time because MSN messenger is easy [[let us]]==>to make us crazy about it.
A9409002 (A3)
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♥ Ant's Free Writing ♡
Free Hit Counter
2007年6月1日 星期五
The effects of MP3 and MP3 player [#2]
Each innovation has catched everyone' eyes when it comes out first. But after a period of time, people will look this innovation as an important thing if it is useful in some specific parts in our daily life, or it will be forgot soon. When talking about music industry, everyone knows MP3 and looks it as one of everyday items.
Are you addicted to music? No wonder MP3 is so convenient that you do not have to take a CD(Compact disk) out which can saved (save) only ten songs at all! It transforms voice records into digital files because MP3 files need less storage size than voice files. [[Soon after, the MP3 players published]]==>Right after that, MP3 players are seen everywhere. You can clearly see this innovation actually brings a lot of effects. That is, everyone loves to take their MP3 player out to everywhere as long as they want to listen to the music at any time. The reason why they act like that is not only because it is smaller than a CD walkman, but also because it can save much (many) more songs than a CD. In addition, you can easily download all kinds of music online resulting from the high-speed Internet nowadays.
Although the convenience that MP3 brings sounds really good, but there is still a problem about the copyright. Do you know downloading music from the Internet where is not authorized is illegal? Because of their (people's) carpetbag acting, it is really harmful for the music industry and many popular singers may refuse to publish their new albums. People always try to get free songs on the Internet, but singers will refuse to sing anymore. But I think it is not useful to stop this behavior. The most important thing is that our government and the related music apparatus (organizations/units) should pay more attention to this problem.
In fact, advantages usually accompany disadvantages when a new innovation is coming. But for our life going better, all of us should have to promote morality of life at the very start. After that, the innovation of MP3 and MP3 player will actually brings the good effects to us. It has changed our life, and made a big step in modern life.
***A fluent and rich description of the effects of MP3 and MP3 player. Read your article again because I deleted a lot of "the" in your work.
♥ Ant's Free Writing ♡
Free Hit Counter
2007年6月1日 星期五
The effects of MP3 and MP3 player [#2]
Each innovation has catched everyone' eyes when it comes out first. But after a period of time, people will look this innovation as an important thing if it is useful in some specific parts in our daily life, or it will be forgot soon. When talking about music industry, everyone knows MP3 and looks it as one of everyday items.
Are you addicted to music? No wonder MP3 is so convenient that you do not have to take a CD(Compact disk) out which can saved (save) only ten songs at all! It transforms voice records into digital files because MP3 files need less storage size than voice files. [[Soon after, the MP3 players published]]==>Right after that, MP3 players are seen everywhere. You can clearly see this innovation actually brings a lot of effects. That is, everyone loves to take their MP3 player out to everywhere as long as they want to listen to the music at any time. The reason why they act like that is not only because it is smaller than a CD walkman, but also because it can save much (many) more songs than a CD. In addition, you can easily download all kinds of music online resulting from the high-speed Internet nowadays.
Although the convenience that MP3 brings sounds really good, but there is still a problem about the copyright. Do you know downloading music from the Internet where is not authorized is illegal? Because of their (people's) carpetbag acting, it is really harmful for the music industry and many popular singers may refuse to publish their new albums. People always try to get free songs on the Internet, but singers will refuse to sing anymore. But I think it is not useful to stop this behavior. The most important thing is that our government and the related music apparatus (organizations/units) should pay more attention to this problem.
In fact, advantages usually accompany disadvantages when a new innovation is coming. But for our life going better, all of us should have to promote morality of life at the very start. After that, the innovation of MP3 and MP3 player will actually brings the good effects to us. It has changed our life, and made a big step in modern life.
***A fluent and rich description of the effects of MP3 and MP3 player. Read your article again because I deleted a lot of "the" in your work.
A9408047 (A3)
The effects of computer--(2)
Computer is a kind of powerful tool to help us work effectively. Computer computes fastly. And if you want computer to do something, it will not say no. It will do that well step by step without any argument.The first advantage of the computer is speed. Many componies develop many softwares to help us work effectively. In the past, the accounters completed the balance sheet with the calculator. Now they just enter the numbers and tell a computer how to calculate the numbers. And then the computer only spend several seconds to calculate. That is not only fast but also correct. Besides, you do not have to pay for it.The second advantage of the computer is free. I do not mean that the computer is free. I mean that I can easily find a lot of study resources on the Interent. Like English listening,talking (speaking), reading, and writing. You can get that without any money. And the important thing is that you can interact with the websites. Another advantage of computer is convenience. If we want to buy something only in America, we do not take an airplane to go there to buy it. We can use a computer to contact the Interent. Then you just need to find the shopping websites and buy it. After several days, the product will be sent to your home. But computer also has disadvantages. Like (For example), some children spand (spend) too much time playing computer games. That will let them not only do not complete theit homework but also [[do hurt]]==>do harm to their eyes. In conclusion, having a computer in the 21st centory is very necessary for you. These advantages have affected our life deeply. Not only it is convenient for you, but it is helpful to your life as well. I can not think what will be like if computer is out of our lives. But [[the disadvantage we need to think about it]]==>we need to think about the disadvantages,too.
***Fluent and concise article. read your writing again because I deleted a lot of "the".
Computer is a kind of powerful tool to help us work effectively. Computer computes fastly. And if you want computer to do something, it will not say no. It will do that well step by step without any argument.The first advantage of the computer is speed. Many componies develop many softwares to help us work effectively. In the past, the accounters completed the balance sheet with the calculator. Now they just enter the numbers and tell a computer how to calculate the numbers. And then the computer only spend several seconds to calculate. That is not only fast but also correct. Besides, you do not have to pay for it.The second advantage of the computer is free. I do not mean that the computer is free. I mean that I can easily find a lot of study resources on the Interent. Like English listening,talking (speaking), reading, and writing. You can get that without any money. And the important thing is that you can interact with the websites. Another advantage of computer is convenience. If we want to buy something only in America, we do not take an airplane to go there to buy it. We can use a computer to contact the Interent. Then you just need to find the shopping websites and buy it. After several days, the product will be sent to your home. But computer also has disadvantages. Like (For example), some children spand (spend) too much time playing computer games. That will let them not only do not complete theit homework but also [[do hurt]]==>do harm to their eyes. In conclusion, having a computer in the 21st centory is very necessary for you. These advantages have affected our life deeply. Not only it is convenient for you, but it is helpful to your life as well. I can not think what will be like if computer is out of our lives. But [[the disadvantage we need to think about it]]==>we need to think about the disadvantages,too.
***Fluent and concise article. read your writing again because I deleted a lot of "the".
A9406048 (A3)
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作業區
2007年5月31日 星期四
The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life---2st version
The most characteristic of innovation in modern life is that everyone has a cell phone. Because of the invention of cell phone, it makes a big change for human life. It makes people speaking to people easier, instantaneous, and efficient. It is good for innovation in modern life.
Cell phone [[has much function for play]]==>now has a lot of functions. It can send images and save files. For example, taking pictures, listening to the music, watching movies. [[It easy makes user enraptured for cell phone]]==???. And size of cell phone is lighter and more flimsy, [[it make easy]]==>which makesit easy for us to carry a cell phone.
On the other hand, cell phone is very popular because it means fashion, individualism, (current)==>???. It can put (induce) people to buy cell phones. So people [[are not only used it to speak, but they all compared that]]==>do not only use it to speak but they also compare whose cell phones are cool and fashionable.
But cell phone makes many problems. For example, [[steal it,]]==>someone might steal a cell phone because he had no money to buy one. As well, someone had no money to pay for communicate expense, someone have magpie of cell phone.]]==>who has no money to pay for his phone bills might ???
[[Because the values of cell phone that is not less than pearls and jewels.]]==>??? Therefore, [[a fancy of cell phone]]==>pursuing fancy cell phones has to stop before going too far.
So cell phone [[will redound to our live.]]==>??? [[It makes convenient to do anything.]]==>It is convenient for us to do many things. For example, to speak, send field (file), download music and movies, and use the Remote Initial Program Load to monitor. And we have to have a good mindset to use cell phone; otherwise, it can make a lot of problems.
作業區
2007年5月31日 星期四
The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life---2st version
The most characteristic of innovation in modern life is that everyone has a cell phone. Because of the invention of cell phone, it makes a big change for human life. It makes people speaking to people easier, instantaneous, and efficient. It is good for innovation in modern life.
Cell phone [[has much function for play]]==>now has a lot of functions. It can send images and save files. For example, taking pictures, listening to the music, watching movies. [[It easy makes user enraptured for cell phone]]==???. And size of cell phone is lighter and more flimsy, [[it make easy]]==>which makesit easy for us to carry a cell phone.
On the other hand, cell phone is very popular because it means fashion, individualism, (current)==>???. It can put (induce) people to buy cell phones. So people [[are not only used it to speak, but they all compared that]]==>do not only use it to speak but they also compare whose cell phones are cool and fashionable.
But cell phone makes many problems. For example, [[steal it,]]==>someone might steal a cell phone because he had no money to buy one. As well, someone had no money to pay for communicate expense, someone have magpie of cell phone.]]==>who has no money to pay for his phone bills might ???
[[Because the values of cell phone that is not less than pearls and jewels.]]==>??? Therefore, [[a fancy of cell phone]]==>pursuing fancy cell phones has to stop before going too far.
So cell phone [[will redound to our live.]]==>??? [[It makes convenient to do anything.]]==>It is convenient for us to do many things. For example, to speak, send field (file), download music and movies, and use the Remote Initial Program Load to monitor. And we have to have a good mindset to use cell phone; otherwise, it can make a lot of problems.
A9403150 (A3)
The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life(2)
Cell phones are among the most important and convenient inventions, which greatly change our life.Using a cell phone allows us to easily and readily communicate with people no matter where and when they are. It is so useful that saves us a lot of time; nowadays,without a cell phone, it would be very inconvenient for us to lead a modern life.
There are many things that people must rely on cell phones to communicate with others. For example, children always call their parents on cell phones when they are walking down the street or riding a motorcycle.A businessmen can talk to their customers not necessarily from a telephone on their office desk.Nowadays there are increasingly more inventive functions of cell phones such as MP3 or camera to service people.Cell phones has,thus,also become an essential part of modern life that makes people enjoyable and comfortable.Some new generation cell phones enable you to see the person you are communicating with, not to mention of the blind being able to use them to talk with others. In sum, cell phones not only providing an effective tool for communication tool but also an essential way that enables people to keep and stay in touch with others.
Despite all the above merits and advantagest cell phones have, they also have some disvantages that cause us much trouble such as electromagnetic wave.It always negatively affects our health and does harm to us. The most harmful or dangerous effect cell phones may have on our life would be that more and more bad people or bandits are using cell phones to cheat or commit crime. As a result, many people, more and more afraid of using cell phones on their own, are advised to use their cell phones with care and guard against their cell phones getting lost or being stolen. In short, the invention of cell phones brings modern people all the convenience we enjoy; on the other hand, it also causes more and more danger to people and caution must be exercised in order to ensure the convenience and safety of using cell phones.
***Well, your article sounds like something that we have read from the Internet.
Cell phones are among the most important and convenient inventions, which greatly change our life.Using a cell phone allows us to easily and readily communicate with people no matter where and when they are. It is so useful that saves us a lot of time; nowadays,without a cell phone, it would be very inconvenient for us to lead a modern life.
There are many things that people must rely on cell phones to communicate with others. For example, children always call their parents on cell phones when they are walking down the street or riding a motorcycle.A businessmen can talk to their customers not necessarily from a telephone on their office desk.Nowadays there are increasingly more inventive functions of cell phones such as MP3 or camera to service people.Cell phones has,thus,also become an essential part of modern life that makes people enjoyable and comfortable.Some new generation cell phones enable you to see the person you are communicating with, not to mention of the blind being able to use them to talk with others. In sum, cell phones not only providing an effective tool for communication tool but also an essential way that enables people to keep and stay in touch with others.
Despite all the above merits and advantagest cell phones have, they also have some disvantages that cause us much trouble such as electromagnetic wave.It always negatively affects our health and does harm to us. The most harmful or dangerous effect cell phones may have on our life would be that more and more bad people or bandits are using cell phones to cheat or commit crime. As a result, many people, more and more afraid of using cell phones on their own, are advised to use their cell phones with care and guard against their cell phones getting lost or being stolen. In short, the invention of cell phones brings modern people all the convenience we enjoy; on the other hand, it also causes more and more danger to people and caution must be exercised in order to ensure the convenience and safety of using cell phones.
***Well, your article sounds like something that we have read from the Internet.
A9403016 (A3)
The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life. (1)
In the ancient time, when the weather was hot, we used fan to let us feel more comfortable by vibrating our own hands. But in the modern life now, there is an great inversion (invention) that has revolutionized the way we behave today which is called "air conditioner." It is so easy and convenient that we just need to insert the connector and click some buttons, then the cold air will come out of the machine. Air conditioners have been existed in everywhere, such as homesites, schools, and skyscrapers. We cannot live and feel annoyed without air conditioners especially in summer. Beside the cold air, there are many modes that we can choose for what we need. For instant (instance), we can select [[the eliminates wet mode]]==>one that gets rid of moisture when the weather is wet or one that would give us a good dream by turning to the comfortable sleeping mode.
In the ancient time, when the weather was hot, we used fan to let us feel more comfortable by vibrating our own hands. But in the modern life now, there is an great inversion (invention) that has revolutionized the way we behave today which is called "air conditioner." It is so easy and convenient that we just need to insert the connector and click some buttons, then the cold air will come out of the machine. Air conditioners have been existed in everywhere, such as homesites, schools, and skyscrapers. We cannot live and feel annoyed without air conditioners especially in summer. Beside the cold air, there are many modes that we can choose for what we need. For instant (instance), we can select [[the eliminates wet mode]]==>one that gets rid of moisture when the weather is wet or one that would give us a good dream by turning to the comfortable sleeping mode.
A9403014 (A3)
The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life. (I)
In [[the modern invention]]==>modern society, the most convenient product that I thought is "cell-phone". I remember that we did not have cell-phone few years ago, and it is very difficult to contact our friends. As long as someone leaves home, it is very hard to find the person. When cell-phione is invented, I find that it really saves so much time and [[become more conveniently]]==>convenient.
Now a cell-phone's function is not only using (used) for cantaction (contact), but also looking for some information. With technical development, cell-phone [[increases a lot of attachments]]==>has increased a lot of functions, for example, MP3, taking the picture, surfing the Net, editing your cell-phone and so on. It becomes a necessity in people's life. Due to [[the cell-phone are generalization]]==>the popularity of cell phone, the price [[is also controlled]]==>has also become extremely cheap, so it cannot become a burden in our lives. But the phone bills really need to be controlled, although [[the fees of the telephone]]==the rates are not certainly expensive. If you uses it to (for) chatting, you may cost a aly (lot) of money in a month. Just like me, my phone bills are 1500NT dollars this month. Therefore, I have to [[be much saver]]==>watch out my phone bills more than before.
It is very difficult to imagine that if we do not have cell-phone in our lives. It is not really convenient. I think I am really fortunately to be born in this century . The cell-phone is really interesting. I can play games by using cell-phone when the class is so boring. Playing games by using cell-phone also may kill some leisure time. I think it is really a quite good invention.
***Please read your article again because I deleted a lot of "the" in your work.
In [[the modern invention]]==>modern society, the most convenient product that I thought is "cell-phone". I remember that we did not have cell-phone few years ago, and it is very difficult to contact our friends. As long as someone leaves home, it is very hard to find the person. When cell-phione is invented, I find that it really saves so much time and [[become more conveniently]]==>convenient.
Now a cell-phone's function is not only using (used) for cantaction (contact), but also looking for some information. With technical development, cell-phone [[increases a lot of attachments]]==>has increased a lot of functions, for example, MP3, taking the picture, surfing the Net, editing your cell-phone and so on. It becomes a necessity in people's life. Due to [[the cell-phone are generalization]]==>the popularity of cell phone, the price [[is also controlled]]==>has also become extremely cheap, so it cannot become a burden in our lives. But the phone bills really need to be controlled, although [[the fees of the telephone]]==the rates are not certainly expensive. If you uses it to (for) chatting, you may cost a aly (lot) of money in a month. Just like me, my phone bills are 1500NT dollars this month. Therefore, I have to [[be much saver]]==>watch out my phone bills more than before.
It is very difficult to imagine that if we do not have cell-phone in our lives. It is not really convenient. I think I am really fortunately to be born in this century . The cell-phone is really interesting. I can play games by using cell-phone when the class is so boring. Playing games by using cell-phone also may kill some leisure time. I think it is really a quite good invention.
***Please read your article again because I deleted a lot of "the" in your work.
A9402026 (A3)
Effect of air conditioner in modern life #1
In mordern life, most people's activities is (are) indoor. In school, students study and teachers teach in classrooms. In offices, employees do their jobs in big rooms. One thing that is very important to they (them) in summer so that they can be working normally and every building almost have (has) one is---air conditioner. [[This is make]]==>It makes people feel both bed (bad) and good.
Air conditioner can make your room's temperature low. It is savior of (for) people in summer. Everyone in summer always feel hot due to temperature high (high temperature). People alway stay in [[temperature low such]]==>places with low temperature so that they can feel better. Air conditioner makes people more concentrated. People can not pay attention in feeling bad. Therefore,they can pay more attention to his (their) work. For busniess, air conditioner can catch (attract) more consumers in [[his store]]==>their stores. [[Employer must catch conumer's mind]]==>A store keeper must be able to know consumers' needs in order for them to buy things in his store. Air conditioner is an important condition (equipment) for consumers. I think no consumers can stay in hot stores for a long time.
Air conditioner is an expensive machine!. [[This is not only expensive on his price,but consum large power on his using]]==>Both of its price and electricity consumption are expensive. Most air conditioner's prices is (are) between 5000 and 50000 TWD. It is [[according to size of your room and another fuction]]==>based on the size of your room and the functions added to the air conditioner. It consums more power (electricity) than general machines. If you (open)==>turn on it for a month, you may pay 3,740 TWD to power factory. The cost is not the fact that everyone can accept it.
So, air conditioner can bring advantage and disadvantage for us-low temperature and high cost. Athough cost is high, many people cannot but use it in summer. Beacuse it really feel bad in high temperature.
***It is good that you use a lot of examples to show us the effects of air-conditioner. Pay attention to your grammar and the choice of words to make your ideas clearer.
In mordern life, most people's activities is (are) indoor. In school, students study and teachers teach in classrooms. In offices, employees do their jobs in big rooms. One thing that is very important to they (them) in summer so that they can be working normally and every building almost have (has) one is---air conditioner. [[This is make]]==>It makes people feel both bed (bad) and good.
Air conditioner can make your room's temperature low. It is savior of (for) people in summer. Everyone in summer always feel hot due to temperature high (high temperature). People alway stay in [[temperature low such]]==>places with low temperature so that they can feel better. Air conditioner makes people more concentrated. People can not pay attention in feeling bad. Therefore,they can pay more attention to his (their) work. For busniess, air conditioner can catch (attract) more consumers in [[his store]]==>their stores. [[Employer must catch conumer's mind]]==>A store keeper must be able to know consumers' needs in order for them to buy things in his store. Air conditioner is an important condition (equipment) for consumers. I think no consumers can stay in hot stores for a long time.
Air conditioner is an expensive machine!. [[This is not only expensive on his price,but consum large power on his using]]==>Both of its price and electricity consumption are expensive. Most air conditioner's prices is (are) between 5000 and 50000 TWD. It is [[according to size of your room and another fuction]]==>based on the size of your room and the functions added to the air conditioner. It consums more power (electricity) than general machines. If you (open)==>turn on it for a month, you may pay 3,740 TWD to power factory. The cost is not the fact that everyone can accept it.
So, air conditioner can bring advantage and disadvantage for us-low temperature and high cost. Athough cost is high, many people cannot but use it in summer. Beacuse it really feel bad in high temperature.
***It is good that you use a lot of examples to show us the effects of air-conditioner. Pay attention to your grammar and the choice of words to make your ideas clearer.
A9401010 (A3)
I think "car" is one of the greatest inventions in modern life! Because in the ancient period, they just walked or used the horse to get to their destination. It takes a lot of time and is so inconvenience (convenient). I can imagne that I spend one or two days to get to the place I want to go. [[Compare with modern life, it just takes]]==>In modern society, it would only take about 30 minutes by the (a) car. [[So the impotance for the human being is great.]]==>??? Of course, car is not only for convenience. Nowadays because the technique of making cars has been improving, the functions of cars has changed into various purposes. For example, The transport company (service)==>can serve people for carrying or sending goods like furniture. It helps people to save time and to carry more goods than before. Due to the development of science and technology, car is produced into various kinds. Such as sedan, convertible, track, recreation vehicle, eco-car and so on.... Besides, [[the car are particular about]]==>cars are particular in the equipment and function. So you can choose the most suited (suitable) one. Definitely, car has become the vital tool in our life. Imagine that if we do not invent car, our life must be full of inconvenience. We will spend 2 or 3 days to get to another place which is far away. That is really a messy situation. To sum up, car is one of the greastest inventions so far in modern life.
A9401010 (A2)
Compare and contrast living at home and in the dormitory (2)
I deeply know what is the difference between [[the living of dorm and home]]==>living in the dorm and at home. First, I want to compare the classmates. Living in the dorm can meet lots of friends. But living at home can not meet lost of classmates and you just be alone to do anything like homework. The second point is the discussion. I can discuss the questions and homework with my roommates. Besides, we can solve the difficult questions [[by everyone's thought, ideas]]==>taking into consideration everyone's thoughts and ideas. But if you live at home, you just can do these things alone and you can not discuss them with your classmates. That is really inconvenience (convenient). The third point is independence and the teamwork. Because you live in the dorm, you have to take care of yourself such as the laundry. You have to learn how to deal with all kinds of situations. And you have to learn the teamwork, that is, cooperating with others. But at home, your parents will fix you up with anything and deal with [[your any problems]]==>any problems of yours. You do not have to worry about it. [[That cause that]]==>As a result, you are not mature and independent. The fourth point is my personal opinion. If you live in the dorm, you will have more activities at night. For example, our classmates always play basketball at 6 or 7 P.M.. It is kinda (kind of) late for me, so I can not play with them. In sum, there are too many limits for the night activities. Definitely, living at home will take you lots of time and money on the transpot (transportation). Not like living in the dorm, you just walk 5 or 10 minutes to the classroom. Of course, living at home has more privacy and freedom. For example, sometimes you would like to read alone but you cannot. You want to listen to the music but they are studying or slepping. But at home, you can do anything you want at any time like playing the music loudly. It has more freedom. Finally both of them have their own advantages but I prefer the dorm living.
***Fluent and concise writing. You might want to consider writing a topic sentence in the beginning to organize the four points that you mention in the article.
I deeply know what is the difference between [[the living of dorm and home]]==>living in the dorm and at home. First, I want to compare the classmates. Living in the dorm can meet lots of friends. But living at home can not meet lost of classmates and you just be alone to do anything like homework. The second point is the discussion. I can discuss the questions and homework with my roommates. Besides, we can solve the difficult questions [[by everyone's thought, ideas]]==>taking into consideration everyone's thoughts and ideas. But if you live at home, you just can do these things alone and you can not discuss them with your classmates. That is really inconvenience (convenient). The third point is independence and the teamwork. Because you live in the dorm, you have to take care of yourself such as the laundry. You have to learn how to deal with all kinds of situations. And you have to learn the teamwork, that is, cooperating with others. But at home, your parents will fix you up with anything and deal with [[your any problems]]==>any problems of yours. You do not have to worry about it. [[That cause that]]==>As a result, you are not mature and independent. The fourth point is my personal opinion. If you live in the dorm, you will have more activities at night. For example, our classmates always play basketball at 6 or 7 P.M.. It is kinda (kind of) late for me, so I can not play with them. In sum, there are too many limits for the night activities. Definitely, living at home will take you lots of time and money on the transpot (transportation). Not like living in the dorm, you just walk 5 or 10 minutes to the classroom. Of course, living at home has more privacy and freedom. For example, sometimes you would like to read alone but you cannot. You want to listen to the music but they are studying or slepping. But at home, you can do anything you want at any time like playing the music loudly. It has more freedom. Finally both of them have their own advantages but I prefer the dorm living.
***Fluent and concise writing. You might want to consider writing a topic sentence in the beginning to organize the four points that you mention in the article.
2007年6月1日 星期五
B9215035 (A3)
The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life #2
The invention of cell phone really changes people's life. It is so powerful, easy to use and it is cheap. Cell phone makes our live easier. That is why everyone wants to get one. Cell phone (in this day)==>nowadays can do many things that you can not imagine before it had been invented. When I try to reach a friend, I can use cell phone to make a phone call outside. I can take a snap shot if I were walking on the street and seeing a beautiful scene. To get the emergency e-mail and to play games when I was boring (bored) are also my favorite usages. When you are doing business outside, it is very important to have a powerful cell phone. There are so many things you can do having a cell phone in your hand. That is why everyone on the street has a cell phone. Cell phone is simple to use for everyone even for children and the elderly. It is not as complicate as computer. Sometimes people can use the whole functions of a cell phone at the first time of using it. For example, you just have to press a button to make a phone call using the "speed dial" function. You can take a picture so quickly by pressing a button, so you would not miss the special moment you want to catch. Even it is a little bit complicate to get on the Internet, but it only takes a few steps to do it. A cell phone's price depends on the functions it has. A basic cell phone will be cheaper than a luxury one. Even so, most of the cell phones is (are) cheap. My cell phone only takes me "One dollar" plus a two years contract to get it and most of the people can afford that. Based on these effects, cell phone have become one of the most popular products in the world. It is a little outdated if you did not have one in your pocket. And [[the functions of cell phone will be more and more]]==>there will be more and more functions attached to a cell phone. If you did not have one, it is a good time for you to get one and have a modern life.
***A fluent and engaging article. I enjoy reading it.
The invention of cell phone really changes people's life. It is so powerful, easy to use and it is cheap. Cell phone makes our live easier. That is why everyone wants to get one. Cell phone (in this day)==>nowadays can do many things that you can not imagine before it had been invented. When I try to reach a friend, I can use cell phone to make a phone call outside. I can take a snap shot if I were walking on the street and seeing a beautiful scene. To get the emergency e-mail and to play games when I was boring (bored) are also my favorite usages. When you are doing business outside, it is very important to have a powerful cell phone. There are so many things you can do having a cell phone in your hand. That is why everyone on the street has a cell phone. Cell phone is simple to use for everyone even for children and the elderly. It is not as complicate as computer. Sometimes people can use the whole functions of a cell phone at the first time of using it. For example, you just have to press a button to make a phone call using the "speed dial" function. You can take a picture so quickly by pressing a button, so you would not miss the special moment you want to catch. Even it is a little bit complicate to get on the Internet, but it only takes a few steps to do it. A cell phone's price depends on the functions it has. A basic cell phone will be cheaper than a luxury one. Even so, most of the cell phones is (are) cheap. My cell phone only takes me "One dollar" plus a two years contract to get it and most of the people can afford that. Based on these effects, cell phone have become one of the most popular products in the world. It is a little outdated if you did not have one in your pocket. And [[the functions of cell phone will be more and more]]==>there will be more and more functions attached to a cell phone. If you did not have one, it is a good time for you to get one and have a modern life.
***A fluent and engaging article. I enjoy reading it.
B9215025 (A3)
The Effects of MSN in Modern Life (version 2)
People usually used to [[communication]]==>communicate with each other by telephone or mail in a long distance. But, people now [[have more way]]==>an option to choose in communication, which is MSN. MSN makes people’s communication faster, safer, more esoteric, and clearer than the way people used to communicate. And the effect (to)==>on modern life is the change of communication way.
If people want to [[communication by writing words in letter foretime]]==>communicate with each other by mail, they normally need at least one day to send it to the intended receiver. But, if they use MSN to type words on the Internet, the time which they need to type words and send it is less than half minute, and you do not to have to worry about the message would lost (lose) like sending mails. The message you send by MSN rarely get lost, so, MSN is faster and safer than the traditional way to send words (mails). So people seldom want to send mails to friends today.
People sometimes may care about that their talk would be heard by the others. But if you use MSN for communication, then [[the besetment would be exist anymore]]==>???. When you are communicating by MSN, the other people who near you can not know what you are talking about by listening, the only sound they can hear are many clicks. Therefore, MSN is more esoteric than the traditional way to communicate. [[and many times]]==>That is why now people are mostly using MSN to communicate instead of talking with friends face to face.
[[Some people who just can not talk very clear in telephone, but in msn, the problem is easy to solve]]==>For some people who cannot convey what they want to say clearly sometimes on the phone, MSN can solve the problem. If the people you are communicating with do not understand what you want to convey on MSN, MSN also allows you to paint on the chat space, and send files, which make many people [[more like]]==>prefer to staying home talking to their friends by MSN rather than by telephone.
In conclusion, MSN make many people’s life more convenient, but, there are some bad effects on modern life: MSN may let many people do not want to socialize outside that can cause their socialization [[getting worth]]==>get worse.
***A rich description of the effects of MSN. However, you should pay attention to grammar and especially how to break sentences (斷句) to make your writing more coherent.
People usually used to [[communication]]==>communicate with each other by telephone or mail in a long distance. But, people now [[have more way]]==>an option to choose in communication, which is MSN. MSN makes people’s communication faster, safer, more esoteric, and clearer than the way people used to communicate. And the effect (to)==>on modern life is the change of communication way.
If people want to [[communication by writing words in letter foretime]]==>communicate with each other by mail, they normally need at least one day to send it to the intended receiver. But, if they use MSN to type words on the Internet, the time which they need to type words and send it is less than half minute, and you do not to have to worry about the message would lost (lose) like sending mails. The message you send by MSN rarely get lost, so, MSN is faster and safer than the traditional way to send words (mails). So people seldom want to send mails to friends today.
People sometimes may care about that their talk would be heard by the others. But if you use MSN for communication, then [[the besetment would be exist anymore]]==>???. When you are communicating by MSN, the other people who near you can not know what you are talking about by listening, the only sound they can hear are many clicks. Therefore, MSN is more esoteric than the traditional way to communicate. [[and many times]]==>That is why now people are mostly using MSN to communicate instead of talking with friends face to face.
[[Some people who just can not talk very clear in telephone, but in msn, the problem is easy to solve]]==>For some people who cannot convey what they want to say clearly sometimes on the phone, MSN can solve the problem. If the people you are communicating with do not understand what you want to convey on MSN, MSN also allows you to paint on the chat space, and send files, which make many people [[more like]]==>prefer to staying home talking to their friends by MSN rather than by telephone.
In conclusion, MSN make many people’s life more convenient, but, there are some bad effects on modern life: MSN may let many people do not want to socialize outside that can cause their socialization [[getting worth]]==>get worse.
***A rich description of the effects of MSN. However, you should pay attention to grammar and especially how to break sentences (斷句) to make your writing more coherent.
B9209014 (A3)
(2nd)The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life
In the 20 century, one of the most popular invention is (was) the "Refrigerator". Nowadays, people use the refrigerator to keep the food fresh. The most important advantage of refrigerator is convenient to keep the food fresh. Before refrigerator was invented, [[people reserving food]]==>reserving food for people was difficult, because the food is perishable at room temperature. People preserved some kind of food, like fish, pork or fruit to store for passing the hard time. But the preserved food is unhealthy and not fresh. Then the refrigerator was invented, people can (easier)==>easily keep the food fresh for several days. You just put the food in a refrigerator, close the door of refrigerator and then the refrigerator will keep the food cool because the food is imperishable at low temperature. Another advantage of refrigerator is "enjoyment". In the summer (In summer), people will (store)==>make something iced in the refrigerator so that they can enjoy the icy food when they feel hot. [[As well as]]==>Also, many chefs can invent many diverse icy foods for people due to the invention of refrigerator, or the icy foods will melt quickly at room temperature without a refrigerator. Enjoying the icy food is an interesting part of summer life. Due to the advances of refrigerator, it (is)==>has become a standard piece of equipment everywhere, [[people will hard]]==>it is hard for people to live without a refrigerator.
***A terse and interesting piece of work.
In the 20 century, one of the most popular invention is (was) the "Refrigerator". Nowadays, people use the refrigerator to keep the food fresh. The most important advantage of refrigerator is convenient to keep the food fresh. Before refrigerator was invented, [[people reserving food]]==>reserving food for people was difficult, because the food is perishable at room temperature. People preserved some kind of food, like fish, pork or fruit to store for passing the hard time. But the preserved food is unhealthy and not fresh. Then the refrigerator was invented, people can (easier)==>easily keep the food fresh for several days. You just put the food in a refrigerator, close the door of refrigerator and then the refrigerator will keep the food cool because the food is imperishable at low temperature. Another advantage of refrigerator is "enjoyment". In the summer (In summer), people will (store)==>make something iced in the refrigerator so that they can enjoy the icy food when they feel hot. [[As well as]]==>Also, many chefs can invent many diverse icy foods for people due to the invention of refrigerator, or the icy foods will melt quickly at room temperature without a refrigerator. Enjoying the icy food is an interesting part of summer life. Due to the advances of refrigerator, it (is)==>has become a standard piece of equipment everywhere, [[people will hard]]==>it is hard for people to live without a refrigerator.
***A terse and interesting piece of work.
A9415058 (A3)
Assignment3_(2): The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life
In the 21st centenary, people rely on computers and the Internet. It really changes the way that people take pictures. Most people use digital cameras instead of traditional cameras especially for the youngster. It has made our life easy to record.
The most important advantage of (the)=>a digital camera is immediate. After taking pictures, you can see them immediately from your digital camera’s LCD monitor and make sure the pictures are actually what you want. If the picture is blurred, losing focus, looked (looks) awful or not good enough, you can delete it right away. You don't (do not) have to worry about wasting your films because the picture is made up from a digital camera. It is just digital data stored in the memory; therefore, you can easily take a new one and won’t (will not) feel regretful of wasting films.
The second advantage of the digital camera is easy to edit or to modify. You can use the computer to edit the picture. It is interesting when you can edit the picture. To put texts and any cute icon on it and to change color or to cut down some parts of the picture you want by editing tool. You can make your own special and unique photograph album.
Another advantage of the digital camera is convenient (convenience). There are many ways to record your life. One of them is using the camera because it’s (it is) easy and quick. You may write a diary to record your life, so you need to describe what you see but sometimes it is quite difficult using words to accord with it (that)=>because you may not even find a word to say. When you use the digital camera, you only need to look at the monitor and to press the button to (get the mount)==>move the cursor and view what you want to see. You can even share pictures to your family and friends by sending them emails or posting the pictures onto your web log. It is sample (simple).
In conclusion, having a digital camera today is convenient to memorize your life for yourself. You can take pictures whenever you want and wherever you are. Not only it is convenient for you, but it makes your life more plentiful. Good conclusion!
***Good description of the effects of a digital camera.
In the 21st centenary, people rely on computers and the Internet. It really changes the way that people take pictures. Most people use digital cameras instead of traditional cameras especially for the youngster. It has made our life easy to record.
The most important advantage of (the)=>a digital camera is immediate. After taking pictures, you can see them immediately from your digital camera’s LCD monitor and make sure the pictures are actually what you want. If the picture is blurred, losing focus, looked (looks) awful or not good enough, you can delete it right away. You don't (do not) have to worry about wasting your films because the picture is made up from a digital camera. It is just digital data stored in the memory; therefore, you can easily take a new one and won’t (will not) feel regretful of wasting films.
The second advantage of the digital camera is easy to edit or to modify. You can use the computer to edit the picture. It is interesting when you can edit the picture. To put texts and any cute icon on it and to change color or to cut down some parts of the picture you want by editing tool. You can make your own special and unique photograph album.
Another advantage of the digital camera is convenient (convenience). There are many ways to record your life. One of them is using the camera because it’s (it is) easy and quick. You may write a diary to record your life, so you need to describe what you see but sometimes it is quite difficult using words to accord with it (that)=>because you may not even find a word to say. When you use the digital camera, you only need to look at the monitor and to press the button to (get the mount)==>move the cursor and view what you want to see. You can even share pictures to your family and friends by sending them emails or posting the pictures onto your web log. It is sample (simple).
In conclusion, having a digital camera today is convenient to memorize your life for yourself. You can take pictures whenever you want and wherever you are. Not only it is convenient for you, but it makes your life more plentiful. Good conclusion!
***Good description of the effects of a digital camera.
A9415035 (A3)
The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life(#2)
Since people’s ( requires of life was)==>life demands are getting higher, technology keeps developing. There are many new inventions of high tech which make our living more convenient but there are also some side effects. A mobile phone, for example, has both convenience and entertainment. However, it can harm your body if you using (use) a mobile phone [[for a couple of time]]==>too much. The invention of a mobile phone narrows the distance between people and [[has the very]]==>brings us a lot of convenience. At the beginning, when you are dating with your friends or contacting your family you can tell each other where you are by using a mobile phone immediately, hence it can reduces much time on waiting for each other. Furthermore, the function of mobile phone becomes powerful day by day. When you feel bored and want to kill time, [[the mobile phone equips playing game function]]==>a mobile phone which is equipped with the function of computer games can solve this problem, and it is really an attractive function. In the other hand (On the other hand), [[most of mobile phone has]]==>most of the mobile phones have the camera function. When you forget to bring a camera outside, the most convenience is that your mobile phone can take photos right away. In such a case, the invention of mobile phones makes (make) our lives more convenient. [[Under the rapidly inventing of technology]]==>Although new inventions have done us good in many aspects, there are also many side effects of using high tech inventions. [[In many reports on news, it interprets]]==>Many news have reported that the electromagnetic wave harms our health greatly by [[the mobile phone with long-term use]]==>using a mobile phone for a long time, and it would cause even more serious disease; therefore, we need to avoid those problems. Nowadays, in the world, there are many new products which are invented by people to replace the traditional products, and [[it makes]]==>they make our lives more convenient, entertaining and so safety (safe). [[But the affection of the side effects of those products we have to consider about even if we want to achieve higher technologythis reason, it can really make our life getting better and better.]]==>But we need to take into consideration the side effects of those products when we are thinking to invent new products. Only by thoughtful consideraton that we can make new inventions to improve our life quality.
***Adequate description of both positive and negative effects of a mobile phone. Pay attention to your grammar to make your ideas clearer.
Since people’s ( requires of life was)==>life demands are getting higher, technology keeps developing. There are many new inventions of high tech which make our living more convenient but there are also some side effects. A mobile phone, for example, has both convenience and entertainment. However, it can harm your body if you using (use) a mobile phone [[for a couple of time]]==>too much. The invention of a mobile phone narrows the distance between people and [[has the very]]==>brings us a lot of convenience. At the beginning, when you are dating with your friends or contacting your family you can tell each other where you are by using a mobile phone immediately, hence it can reduces much time on waiting for each other. Furthermore, the function of mobile phone becomes powerful day by day. When you feel bored and want to kill time, [[the mobile phone equips playing game function]]==>a mobile phone which is equipped with the function of computer games can solve this problem, and it is really an attractive function. In the other hand (On the other hand), [[most of mobile phone has]]==>most of the mobile phones have the camera function. When you forget to bring a camera outside, the most convenience is that your mobile phone can take photos right away. In such a case, the invention of mobile phones makes (make) our lives more convenient. [[Under the rapidly inventing of technology]]==>Although new inventions have done us good in many aspects, there are also many side effects of using high tech inventions. [[In many reports on news, it interprets]]==>Many news have reported that the electromagnetic wave harms our health greatly by [[the mobile phone with long-term use]]==>using a mobile phone for a long time, and it would cause even more serious disease; therefore, we need to avoid those problems. Nowadays, in the world, there are many new products which are invented by people to replace the traditional products, and [[it makes]]==>they make our lives more convenient, entertaining and so safety (safe). [[But the affection of the side effects of those products we have to consider about even if we want to achieve higher technologythis reason, it can really make our life getting better and better.]]==>But we need to take into consideration the side effects of those products when we are thinking to invent new products. Only by thoughtful consideraton that we can make new inventions to improve our life quality.
***Adequate description of both positive and negative effects of a mobile phone. Pay attention to your grammar to make your ideas clearer.
A9415032 (A3)
The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life(#2)
[[We see the new invention form the news everyday, it's always surprised of ours.]]==>We are always surprised by the news of new inventions everyday. One product that my friend bought two weeks ago is a digital camera. The new digital camera improved the photo's quality of the pixels (become to )==>by ten million pixels. [[Whatever you say, ]]==>Whether you have agreed with that the new invention makes our life easier, convenient and superior, but there might be some problems unsolved.
[[Taking the example of camera]]==>Compared to traditional cameras, digital cameras [[makes us easy]]==>are easier to take photos even (if just)=>for a child. (The)==>A traditional camera has to turn a spring once before you taking (take) a photo [[when every time you using camera]]==>everytime you need to take a picture. But now the (a) digital camera can take photos right away without any (actions)=>preparation. In the other hand On the other hand), a digital camera does not need to set up any films because [[it is storing photos]]==>all of the photos are stored in a small digital memory card. You do not have to worry about how to set up films due to (the easy using)==the usefulness of the memory card.
[[The digital]]==>In contrast to a traditional camera, a digital camera has more powerful functions to enhance the convenience of taking photos. At the first (At first), there is a LCD screen on the (a) digital camera to help us see the area of what we are going to take, and we can zoom in or zoom out the focus. Moreover, we can pass the photos from a camera to a computer by connecting the camera to a computer. [[As this reason, it is really attractive that you can easier to]]==>As a result of this, a digital camera is really attractive because you can share those photos to your classmates or friends through the Internet. In the other word (In other words), it is more convenient to share photos by using a digital camera.
The most advantage of a digital camera is that [[has improving]]==>it has improved the quality of photos. Due to [[the digital camera is storing photos]]==>the fact that photos oof a digital camera are stored in memory card we can decide what photo we are going to delete or not immediately. Besides, the pixels of digital is (are) getting higher and higher so we can enlarge the photos with high quality. [[But there is a disadvantage about that there might be little true color's difference by using either digital or traditional camera.]]==>Why? I do not quite understand this part. [[Compare with the traditional camera and digital camera]]==>Compared to a traditional camera, excepting (except) the disadvantage of true color's difference a digital camera definitely can reduce the cost and improve the quality of photo.
[[The new invention of technology helps our live a lot. Maybe it has some unsolved problem, it still brings us easy, convenience, high quality…and so on. In a word, the new invention of technology makes my life completely.]]==>It is suggested that you focus on describing the effects of a digital camera instead of turning to the general description of technology. Besides, although you mention there are some unsolved problems, but throughout your article, we do not see any mention of the unsolved prolmes. It makes your artilce incoherent.
[[We see the new invention form the news everyday, it's always surprised of ours.]]==>We are always surprised by the news of new inventions everyday. One product that my friend bought two weeks ago is a digital camera. The new digital camera improved the photo's quality of the pixels (become to )==>by ten million pixels. [[Whatever you say, ]]==>Whether you have agreed with that the new invention makes our life easier, convenient and superior, but there might be some problems unsolved.
[[Taking the example of camera]]==>Compared to traditional cameras, digital cameras [[makes us easy]]==>are easier to take photos even (if just)=>for a child. (The)==>A traditional camera has to turn a spring once before you taking (take) a photo [[when every time you using camera]]==>everytime you need to take a picture. But now the (a) digital camera can take photos right away without any (actions)=>preparation. In the other hand On the other hand), a digital camera does not need to set up any films because [[it is storing photos]]==>all of the photos are stored in a small digital memory card. You do not have to worry about how to set up films due to (the easy using)==the usefulness of the memory card.
[[The digital]]==>In contrast to a traditional camera, a digital camera has more powerful functions to enhance the convenience of taking photos. At the first (At first), there is a LCD screen on the (a) digital camera to help us see the area of what we are going to take, and we can zoom in or zoom out the focus. Moreover, we can pass the photos from a camera to a computer by connecting the camera to a computer. [[As this reason, it is really attractive that you can easier to]]==>As a result of this, a digital camera is really attractive because you can share those photos to your classmates or friends through the Internet. In the other word (In other words), it is more convenient to share photos by using a digital camera.
The most advantage of a digital camera is that [[has improving]]==>it has improved the quality of photos. Due to [[the digital camera is storing photos]]==>the fact that photos oof a digital camera are stored in memory card we can decide what photo we are going to delete or not immediately. Besides, the pixels of digital is (are) getting higher and higher so we can enlarge the photos with high quality. [[But there is a disadvantage about that there might be little true color's difference by using either digital or traditional camera.]]==>Why? I do not quite understand this part. [[Compare with the traditional camera and digital camera]]==>Compared to a traditional camera, excepting (except) the disadvantage of true color's difference a digital camera definitely can reduce the cost and improve the quality of photo.
[[The new invention of technology helps our live a lot. Maybe it has some unsolved problem, it still brings us easy, convenience, high quality…and so on. In a word, the new invention of technology makes my life completely.]]==>It is suggested that you focus on describing the effects of a digital camera instead of turning to the general description of technology. Besides, although you mention there are some unsolved problems, but throughout your article, we do not see any mention of the unsolved prolmes. It makes your artilce incoherent.
A9409007 (A3)
The Effects of the Internet (version two)
The Internet is very convenient to everyone and changed people's life. At present we can use the Internet to do a lot of things. You just connect to the Internet easily then you get various information. You [[could not]]==>do not have to go out but you could know the real-time news of the world by the Internet. [[And the Internet]]==>The Internet also supports people to do so many things efficiently. For example, people could (can) file a report on their liable taxations by the Internet.
In the past, we should go to the library (or)=>to look up the encyclopaedia if we need to find information. Now we can use the Internet to achieve a lot of useful information and download pictures. We save much time and we do not pay extra fees. Because of this property, people like to read online newspapers instead of printing (printed) newspapers. Owing to the Internet breaks the limit of time and space, you can have a contact with your friends who lives (live) far. You can send emails to your friends and chat with your friends on MSN or in the video-conference. In addition, you can play online games to (forward)==>promote/increase your (friend relationship)==>friendship.
The Internet [[relates to our life nearly]]==>is closely related our life. So I think that the Internet is a living tool for people in the [[knowledge times]]==>age of Information economics. Because of its convenience, people rely on the Internet. [[Even someone addict]]==>There are even people addicted to the Internet. They neglect their duty because they usually stay in front of a computer and concentrate on Internet all day long. It damages their social ability and health. Maybe we should use the Internet properly and [[choice good]]==>choose what is good for us.
***A clear description of the effects of the Internet. It is suggested that you pay attention to grammar and the choice of words.
The Internet is very convenient to everyone and changed people's life. At present we can use the Internet to do a lot of things. You just connect to the Internet easily then you get various information. You [[could not]]==>do not have to go out but you could know the real-time news of the world by the Internet. [[And the Internet]]==>The Internet also supports people to do so many things efficiently. For example, people could (can) file a report on their liable taxations by the Internet.
In the past, we should go to the library (or)=>to look up the encyclopaedia if we need to find information. Now we can use the Internet to achieve a lot of useful information and download pictures. We save much time and we do not pay extra fees. Because of this property, people like to read online newspapers instead of printing (printed) newspapers. Owing to the Internet breaks the limit of time and space, you can have a contact with your friends who lives (live) far. You can send emails to your friends and chat with your friends on MSN or in the video-conference. In addition, you can play online games to (forward)==>promote/increase your (friend relationship)==>friendship.
The Internet [[relates to our life nearly]]==>is closely related our life. So I think that the Internet is a living tool for people in the [[knowledge times]]==>age of Information economics. Because of its convenience, people rely on the Internet. [[Even someone addict]]==>There are even people addicted to the Internet. They neglect their duty because they usually stay in front of a computer and concentrate on Internet all day long. It damages their social ability and health. Maybe we should use the Internet properly and [[choice good]]==>choose what is good for us.
***A clear description of the effects of the Internet. It is suggested that you pay attention to grammar and the choice of words.
A9409003 (A3)
The Effects of Digital Cameras (Ver. 2)
Just like the traditional cameras, Digital cameras help us to capture all the memories in our life. Digital cameras are simple to use, convenient and fast. You only need to press down a button on the digital camera to take a picture. A few seconds later, it will display the photo you have taken on the screen. You never have to refill the film, the memory card inside it will store all the photos. Even a child can use a digital camera easily. Not like traditional photos, the digital photos will never fade. Using a transmission line, you can store all the photos into a computer. You can also decide which photos you want. Some of them may be blurred and you can just delete them. After choosing the pictures you like, you can use a printer to print them out. You can also send pictures to friends via the Internet. Want to look younger or slimmer? No problem! By using computer softwares, you can modify the digital photos. For example, you can make your face smaller or you can erase the wrinkles on your face. In other words, there are no limits in digital photos.
Because of digital cameras, there are digital albums. People nowadays use digital albums instead of traditional albums. There are many advantages of using digital albums. First of all, it helps to protect the environment. Because we would not print most of our pictures out, so it reduces the use of papers. Also having a digital album is fun. You can share your photos with all the people around the world. You can see their photos, too. Somehow, I think the digital cameras connected (connects) the world and it surely made (makes) our life easier.
***A thorough description of the effects of digital cameras. Good job!
Just like the traditional cameras, Digital cameras help us to capture all the memories in our life. Digital cameras are simple to use, convenient and fast. You only need to press down a button on the digital camera to take a picture. A few seconds later, it will display the photo you have taken on the screen. You never have to refill the film, the memory card inside it will store all the photos. Even a child can use a digital camera easily. Not like traditional photos, the digital photos will never fade. Using a transmission line, you can store all the photos into a computer. You can also decide which photos you want. Some of them may be blurred and you can just delete them. After choosing the pictures you like, you can use a printer to print them out. You can also send pictures to friends via the Internet. Want to look younger or slimmer? No problem! By using computer softwares, you can modify the digital photos. For example, you can make your face smaller or you can erase the wrinkles on your face. In other words, there are no limits in digital photos.
Because of digital cameras, there are digital albums. People nowadays use digital albums instead of traditional albums. There are many advantages of using digital albums. First of all, it helps to protect the environment. Because we would not print most of our pictures out, so it reduces the use of papers. Also having a digital album is fun. You can share your photos with all the people around the world. You can see their photos, too. Somehow, I think the digital cameras connected (connects) the world and it surely made (makes) our life easier.
***A thorough description of the effects of digital cameras. Good job!
A9403126 (A3)
The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life. (II)
Much has been done to improve the traffic in big cities. Take Taipei for instance. Over the years, the city has introduced several measures to deal with this problem. Perhaps the most important factor was the opening of Taipei's Mass Rapid Transit (MRT). By offering convenience and comfort to the people of this city, it has induced a lot of drivers to start using it.
Taipei's Mass Rapid Transit (MRT) is a big hit with people living here. In the past, residents had fewer choices in getting around the city. They could only drive a car or motorcycle or simply walk. Since the MRT began operating, however, people are finding that it is the most convenient mode of transportation. Simply put, the MRT runs underground and therefore never gets stuck in traffic. The MRT runs so smoothly that it can actually reduce commuting time by more than fifty percent. Around the same time, the city built "bus only" lanes along several of the main streets and avenues. Only buses can drive in (on) these lanes, thus helping them to move more quickly through traffic.
With this improvement, a lot of people have been encouraged to take the MRT and the bus instead of a car or a motorcycle, once again helping to alleviate some of the city's traffic headaches. Another reason why workers and students favor the MRT is that they never have to worry about parking. In a crowded city like Taipei, this can be a big problem. Finding a place to park your car or motorcycle can often take a lot of time or cost money. Finally, for those who are worried about the environment, the MRT is helping to cut down (on)=>the pollution in the city.
[[In conclusion, we can see that there is a cop at every intersection during rush hour. They direct traffic and enforce laws.]]==>So, what is the relation of a cop enforcing laws with the MRT? Please elaborate on this part. But more MRT lines are opening in the future, [[it is safe to]]==>we can definitely say that MRT will continue to grow in popularity.
***A very fluent and organized article. But it is a pity that this piece of writing does not have a coherent ending.
Much has been done to improve the traffic in big cities. Take Taipei for instance. Over the years, the city has introduced several measures to deal with this problem. Perhaps the most important factor was the opening of Taipei's Mass Rapid Transit (MRT). By offering convenience and comfort to the people of this city, it has induced a lot of drivers to start using it.
Taipei's Mass Rapid Transit (MRT) is a big hit with people living here. In the past, residents had fewer choices in getting around the city. They could only drive a car or motorcycle or simply walk. Since the MRT began operating, however, people are finding that it is the most convenient mode of transportation. Simply put, the MRT runs underground and therefore never gets stuck in traffic. The MRT runs so smoothly that it can actually reduce commuting time by more than fifty percent. Around the same time, the city built "bus only" lanes along several of the main streets and avenues. Only buses can drive in (on) these lanes, thus helping them to move more quickly through traffic.
With this improvement, a lot of people have been encouraged to take the MRT and the bus instead of a car or a motorcycle, once again helping to alleviate some of the city's traffic headaches. Another reason why workers and students favor the MRT is that they never have to worry about parking. In a crowded city like Taipei, this can be a big problem. Finding a place to park your car or motorcycle can often take a lot of time or cost money. Finally, for those who are worried about the environment, the MRT is helping to cut down (on)=>the pollution in the city.
[[In conclusion, we can see that there is a cop at every intersection during rush hour. They direct traffic and enforce laws.]]==>So, what is the relation of a cop enforcing laws with the MRT? Please elaborate on this part. But more MRT lines are opening in the future, [[it is safe to]]==>we can definitely say that MRT will continue to grow in popularity.
***A very fluent and organized article. But it is a pity that this piece of writing does not have a coherent ending.
2007年5月28日 星期一
A9406048 (A2)
Compare and contrast living at home and in the dormitory---2nd version
Living at home that who can take care of me and prepare three meals.I feel comfortable at home, but I not application to my homework.I am watching TV, movies, and playing computer uauslly.And one can teach me that when I had help for homework at home. And I go to school late usually and spend a lot of time on traffic.In the dormitory life that it will accord to school regulation, it is not freedom.I have be use to a team live.The advantages are: someone studying with me, someone can prompt me to go to school. In the dormitory life will be bored, it has not many amusement.I have to wash my closes, prepare three meals myself. But, I can learning a team live and to be independent.Above-mentioned are my reflections.
........................................
In my opinion, there are some differences between living at home and in the dormitory. Living at home is quite comfortable because my three meals can be taken care of. However, it is not helpful for my study becasue I usually watch TV, movies, and play computer games at home and no one can discuss homework with me. Moreover, I am usually late for class because I need to spend a lot of time in transportation to go to school. Compared to living at home, living in the dormitory is confined. I need to conform to dormitory regulations. However, there are some advantages of living in the dormitory: someone can study with me, push me to go to school, and I can learn to be independent. But, most of the time, the dormitory life is boring. There are not many entertainments. I have to wash my clothes and prepare three meals by myself.
Living at home that who can take care of me and prepare three meals.I feel comfortable at home, but I not application to my homework.I am watching TV, movies, and playing computer uauslly.And one can teach me that when I had help for homework at home. And I go to school late usually and spend a lot of time on traffic.In the dormitory life that it will accord to school regulation, it is not freedom.I have be use to a team live.The advantages are: someone studying with me, someone can prompt me to go to school. In the dormitory life will be bored, it has not many amusement.I have to wash my closes, prepare three meals myself. But, I can learning a team live and to be independent.Above-mentioned are my reflections.
........................................
In my opinion, there are some differences between living at home and in the dormitory. Living at home is quite comfortable because my three meals can be taken care of. However, it is not helpful for my study becasue I usually watch TV, movies, and play computer games at home and no one can discuss homework with me. Moreover, I am usually late for class because I need to spend a lot of time in transportation to go to school. Compared to living at home, living in the dormitory is confined. I need to conform to dormitory regulations. However, there are some advantages of living in the dormitory: someone can study with me, push me to go to school, and I can learn to be independent. But, most of the time, the dormitory life is boring. There are not many entertainments. I have to wash my clothes and prepare three meals by myself.
A9403016 (A2)
Compare and contrast living at home and dormitory. ( 2 )
I have left my home town for studying since I was a collage student at Nation Huwei University. And I have been living at (in) the dormitory and the (an) apartment with my classmates for 7 years. There are some differences between living at home and in the dormitory. The advantages of living at home are that I have my own space to do anything I want to without any disturbance, and I can eat many delicious measl which is (are) made by my mother. Also, I don't have to do the laundry and pay for the rent. I could avoid getting wet in the rain by driving parents' cars, if it rains heavily. In contrast with living at (in) the dormitory, there are 6 roommates living in a small area where studying, sleeping, and playing are put together; therefore, we have to respect each other when someone is taking a nap. At meal time, I often go to school restaurant with roommates or classmates every day, and I have been eaten each of stores' food (have eaten each store's food for) more than 10 times. [[It is bored with me.]]==> I am quite bored with that/I am sick of that. Unquestionably (Doubtlessly), I have to wash clothes by myself. But, there are still many advantages of living in the dormitory. For instance, it is easy for me to ask [[curricular problems to instructor]]==>instructors about curricular problems and do group discussion with classmates because I [["live in the school."]]==>live on campus. And I do not have to come back before the (definition)=>set time of dormitory when I go out with friends for some entertainment, such as singing songs at KTV, watching the midnight movie, and [[having fellowship with girls.]]==>having a date. For me, the dormitory life is synonymous with the university life which is full of challenges. Now, I prefer living in the dormitory so much because after graduating, I will not have the secend chance to feel this. Good conclusion!
How come you do not need to go back to the set time of the dormitory. I am a little bit confused with this.
I have left my home town for studying since I was a collage student at Nation Huwei University. And I have been living at (in) the dormitory and the (an) apartment with my classmates for 7 years. There are some differences between living at home and in the dormitory. The advantages of living at home are that I have my own space to do anything I want to without any disturbance, and I can eat many delicious measl which is (are) made by my mother. Also, I don't have to do the laundry and pay for the rent. I could avoid getting wet in the rain by driving parents' cars, if it rains heavily. In contrast with living at (in) the dormitory, there are 6 roommates living in a small area where studying, sleeping, and playing are put together; therefore, we have to respect each other when someone is taking a nap. At meal time, I often go to school restaurant with roommates or classmates every day, and I have been eaten each of stores' food (have eaten each store's food for) more than 10 times. [[It is bored with me.]]==> I am quite bored with that/I am sick of that. Unquestionably (Doubtlessly), I have to wash clothes by myself. But, there are still many advantages of living in the dormitory. For instance, it is easy for me to ask [[curricular problems to instructor]]==>instructors about curricular problems and do group discussion with classmates because I [["live in the school."]]==>live on campus. And I do not have to come back before the (definition)=>set time of dormitory when I go out with friends for some entertainment, such as singing songs at KTV, watching the midnight movie, and [[having fellowship with girls.]]==>having a date. For me, the dormitory life is synonymous with the university life which is full of challenges. Now, I prefer living in the dormitory so much because after graduating, I will not have the secend chance to feel this. Good conclusion!
How come you do not need to go back to the set time of the dormitory. I am a little bit confused with this.
A9402026 (A2)
Compare and contrast living at home and in the dormitory (Verson 2)
After I entered NTUST, I had lived in dormitory for a year. So, I know [[some different from them]]==>the differences between living at home and in the dormitory. How to choose from them? [[People that need quiet or low cost in studying process may suffer the question.]]==>??? [[ there are two point]]==>There are two major differences between dormitory and home life as followed (as follows). Living in the dormitory is convenience (convenient). In school, commissary (?) , restaurant and constitutes (?) have been established to serve students and teachers. [[Dormitory students]]==>Students living in the dormitory don't (do not have to) wake up too early beacuse (the tuition building)=>? Do you mean "the classroom" is not too far. Unlike living at home, student can't (cannot) get up too late because they must take some time to move (go to) school. Besides that, students living in the domitory can go out and walk a little distance to buy or do someting to satisfy life demands. Also,there are many restaurants, stores and maybe one playground in school. You don't care about (do not have to worry about) eating, entertainment or life's demands. For example, if you are too bored to countinue working (studying), you can take (do) exercise in the playground. If you are hungry, you can go to restaurant to eat food (have something to eat). Moreover, [[near school,stree also be filled with stores there. That implicates you can choose more kind of life's demand.]]==>becasuse there are lots of stores near school, so you have a lot of options to choose for your daily necessities. [[In respect of studying, knowledge is convenient to find it in school,too]]==>In terms of studying, living in the dormitory is also convenient for doing research because library is often closer to dormitory then (than) to home. [[But, for student at home,It's may not very convenient,especially in suburbs]]==>Compared to living in the dormitory, living at home is not convenient in many aspects, especially for the students whose homes are in the suburbs. There maybe no playgrounds or restaurants near your home. You must take a lot of time [[by transport]]==>in transportation to go to school and [[there are not short distance between your home and the place I want going to]]==>???. The most and major [[different]]==>differences between living at home and in the dormitory is resourse sharing. In the dormitory, every thing you use must be shared with other people except your bed, such as bathroom, shower-room,water, air condition, television and so on. The matter that is very difficult to handle in the dormitory is space. [[One room is about six students residing at that room]]==> There are usually six students living in one room. [[Your frame of mind is dominated by the roommates.]]==>??? If you are fortunate enough, [[you will have a good guys or grils that is on their best behavior.]]==>you will have a few good guys or girls to live with you. If not, oh..[[that is]]==>there will be a tragedy to put on the stage. [[You maybe have a noise guys or girls that not sleep on time and bother you in nights.]]==>You may have a noisy guy or girl who do not sleep on time and would bother you at nights. Most of the students that (who) give up dormitory life had considered the problem. [[Unlike home,resourse sharing not exsit at it.]]==>??? Here we (I) provide two major points between dormitory and home life. [[If you are above water]]==>???, I will suggest you should choose home or hire a room. If not, living in the dormitory is an economical decision.
After I entered NTUST, I had lived in dormitory for a year. So, I know [[some different from them]]==>the differences between living at home and in the dormitory. How to choose from them? [[People that need quiet or low cost in studying process may suffer the question.]]==>??? [[ there are two point]]==>There are two major differences between dormitory and home life as followed (as follows). Living in the dormitory is convenience (convenient). In school, commissary (?) , restaurant and constitutes (?) have been established to serve students and teachers. [[Dormitory students]]==>Students living in the dormitory don't (do not have to) wake up too early beacuse (the tuition building)=>? Do you mean "the classroom" is not too far. Unlike living at home, student can't (cannot) get up too late because they must take some time to move (go to) school. Besides that, students living in the domitory can go out and walk a little distance to buy or do someting to satisfy life demands. Also,there are many restaurants, stores and maybe one playground in school. You don't care about (do not have to worry about) eating, entertainment or life's demands. For example, if you are too bored to countinue working (studying), you can take (do) exercise in the playground. If you are hungry, you can go to restaurant to eat food (have something to eat). Moreover, [[near school,stree also be filled with stores there. That implicates you can choose more kind of life's demand.]]==>becasuse there are lots of stores near school, so you have a lot of options to choose for your daily necessities. [[In respect of studying, knowledge is convenient to find it in school,too]]==>In terms of studying, living in the dormitory is also convenient for doing research because library is often closer to dormitory then (than) to home. [[But, for student at home,It's may not very convenient,especially in suburbs]]==>Compared to living in the dormitory, living at home is not convenient in many aspects, especially for the students whose homes are in the suburbs. There maybe no playgrounds or restaurants near your home. You must take a lot of time [[by transport]]==>in transportation to go to school and [[there are not short distance between your home and the place I want going to]]==>???. The most and major [[different]]==>differences between living at home and in the dormitory is resourse sharing. In the dormitory, every thing you use must be shared with other people except your bed, such as bathroom, shower-room,water, air condition, television and so on. The matter that is very difficult to handle in the dormitory is space. [[One room is about six students residing at that room]]==> There are usually six students living in one room. [[Your frame of mind is dominated by the roommates.]]==>??? If you are fortunate enough, [[you will have a good guys or grils that is on their best behavior.]]==>you will have a few good guys or girls to live with you. If not, oh..[[that is]]==>there will be a tragedy to put on the stage. [[You maybe have a noise guys or girls that not sleep on time and bother you in nights.]]==>You may have a noisy guy or girl who do not sleep on time and would bother you at nights. Most of the students that (who) give up dormitory life had considered the problem. [[Unlike home,resourse sharing not exsit at it.]]==>??? Here we (I) provide two major points between dormitory and home life. [[If you are above water]]==>???, I will suggest you should choose home or hire a room. If not, living in the dormitory is an economical decision.
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