The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life. (2nd)
One of the most important inventions of the 20th centenary is the credit card. The credit card was invented by Mr. Mikenamala from Manhattan in 1950. The first bank which issued credit cards is VISA and it's the biggest credit card bank now. One advantage of credit cards is that we don't have to carry lots of cash, so we don't have to be afraid of seeking (a mount)==>an amount of money when we need them. Second, we can get extra bonus with credit cards. Third, using credit cards can make the store owners feel safe. They can avoid using a large number of cash. Therefore, it is (an away)==>a way to protect (them)==>who, or what?.
We will be embarrassing if we don't have enough money to pay (the)=>a dinner, but now we don't have to worry about it because of credit cards. On the other hand, we can use credit cards adding fuel to our cars, buying clothes, buying a car, shopping etc... What's more, if we don't have enough money, we can borrow money from the bank with our credit cards. However, it's not ideal because the interest is very high.
Getting bonus from banks is also an advantage with the use of credit cards. Banks use bonus to attract more people to use their credit cards. In addition, some banks provide cheaper price [[when we seeing the movies or adding fuel]]==>for us to go to a movie or add fuel. When using credit cards, some banks will offer (we)=>us some “credits". We can exchange merchandise with the “credits”.
Credit cards can make the store owners feel safer because they don't have to keep lots of cash which [[is got from the customer in store]]==>they get from the customers. Therefore, it can avoid robbing or reducing the damage when (robbing)==>a robbery occurs. What's more, they can save the time (on)=>in taking the money to the bank every day.
Certainly, there are more advantages of using credit cards. Banks improve the safety design of credit cards. They use chips to reduce fake cards now. Credit cards appear in lots of occasions. And I wish that we can carry no cash in the future.
***Clear and orgainzed article.
2007年6月14日 星期四
2007年6月7日 星期四
B9415005 (A3)
Assignment 3(2nd edition): The Invention of Mobile Phone
In this modern city (society), mobile phone has been (become) one of the most important tools. We can see that all people on the road must have at least one cell phone. [[It just like a signal with the technical life]]==>It looks like a symbol of a modern life. [[What is the attractions mobile phone has]]==>Why mobile phone is so attractive that everyone loves to use it?
First, mobile phone is convenient. Mobile phone can phone somebody at once and everywhere. If you want to talk to your family, chat to (with) your lover, or meet you partner, you don't (do not) have to spend lots of time finding a public telephone. Just pick this little machine and click (dial) the number, and you can finish these immediately. Next, mobile phone is useful. [[During the development in mobile phone, it have been]]==>Mobile phone has been developed not only for a "phone" only but also for a multi-function phone. In addition to calling your friend, you can also send a short message to them. It is a good thing to let us communicate to (with) someone who can't (cannot) answer the phone in a minute. Besides, mobile phone can be like a notebook. You can write down something just like meeting, exams...and so on, so you do not have to bring your unnecessary jotter. You can also play little games in (on) mobile phone! During your boring time, you can play your mobile phone to kill the time and wait for your friend. It is so interesting! Third, mobile phone is potential. Although mobile phone is very convenient for us now, [[it still develop lots of useful utility]]==>there are still more useful utilities to be developed]] continually. Before long, we can see someone surfing the Internet by his phone and another one enjoying the movie at the same time. There are more and more [[cell phones be unusual]]==>unique cell phones. Maybe we can imagine that a mobile phone (were)=>is to be a laptop! We could do everything in (on) our cell phone!
In conclusion, mobile phone have (has) lots of advantages for us and effect (affects) our lives a lot. [[It is not]]==>There is no doubt that mobile phone is a progressive (advanced), convenient and essential goods in this life. Moreover, mobile phone [[still develops continually]]==>is still under development now. [[It has not stop in the limit of the technology]]==>There is no limit to the technology. We can believe that there were (will be) lots of more useful and convenient mobile phones occurred in the future.
***A detailed description of the effects of mobile phone.
In this modern city (society), mobile phone has been (become) one of the most important tools. We can see that all people on the road must have at least one cell phone. [[It just like a signal with the technical life]]==>It looks like a symbol of a modern life. [[What is the attractions mobile phone has]]==>Why mobile phone is so attractive that everyone loves to use it?
First, mobile phone is convenient. Mobile phone can phone somebody at once and everywhere. If you want to talk to your family, chat to (with) your lover, or meet you partner, you don't (do not) have to spend lots of time finding a public telephone. Just pick this little machine and click (dial) the number, and you can finish these immediately. Next, mobile phone is useful. [[During the development in mobile phone, it have been]]==>Mobile phone has been developed not only for a "phone" only but also for a multi-function phone. In addition to calling your friend, you can also send a short message to them. It is a good thing to let us communicate to (with) someone who can't (cannot) answer the phone in a minute. Besides, mobile phone can be like a notebook. You can write down something just like meeting, exams...and so on, so you do not have to bring your unnecessary jotter. You can also play little games in (on) mobile phone! During your boring time, you can play your mobile phone to kill the time and wait for your friend. It is so interesting! Third, mobile phone is potential. Although mobile phone is very convenient for us now, [[it still develop lots of useful utility]]==>there are still more useful utilities to be developed]] continually. Before long, we can see someone surfing the Internet by his phone and another one enjoying the movie at the same time. There are more and more [[cell phones be unusual]]==>unique cell phones. Maybe we can imagine that a mobile phone (were)=>is to be a laptop! We could do everything in (on) our cell phone!
In conclusion, mobile phone have (has) lots of advantages for us and effect (affects) our lives a lot. [[It is not]]==>There is no doubt that mobile phone is a progressive (advanced), convenient and essential goods in this life. Moreover, mobile phone [[still develops continually]]==>is still under development now. [[It has not stop in the limit of the technology]]==>There is no limit to the technology. We can believe that there were (will be) lots of more useful and convenient mobile phones occurred in the future.
***A detailed description of the effects of mobile phone.
B9415002 (A3)
The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life (II)
The Internet without doubt is one of the most important inventions in modern life, maybe the one that mostly changed our life style.
The Information delivery really changed in a positive way thanks to the Internet. You can be informed about the entire world only with some clicks by reading newspapers from countries that perhaps you never heard about and also seeing their television channels. (Does not)=>No matter where you are, if you have a computer and Internet connection you can know everything important that happened in your country.
Entertainment is [[other of the good points of]]==>another advantage of the Internet. [[you can pass hours and hours explore the web and do not feel boring]]==>You can indulge yourself in exploring the Internet without feeling bored. On-line games, music, videos and all that you can imagine [[is certainly exist]]==>are inside this virtual world. However, we need to be [[carefully]]==>careful about the use of the Internet and do not become addicted to it because this (is already one)=>has become a problem in the modern society.
I consider that the other two important (facilities)=>functions of the Internet are the e-mail and e-business. E-mail is faster and cheaper than regular Post Office mail, so it inevitably became the most popular way to communicate with family or friends; therefore, the number of users continues rising. Then, we have the giant e-business, which (became)=>has become more and more popular around the world; clothes, books, cd’s (CDs), cosmetics, foods, and much more [[is ready to buy in]]==>are available on the Internet. For convenience and some times (sometimes) price, shopping on-line is the option that a lot of people choose every day.
In conclusion, I think that the invention of the Internet makes our lives easier in (different)=>many ways and is already part of our lives. [[from now we can enjoy the advantages that the Internet offer to us without became addict to it!]]==>From now on, we should try to enjoy the advantages that the Internet bring us without becoming addicted to it!
***In your article, you talk about both the change and function of the Internet. You might want to make your article more focused by making a thesis statement to include the main points that you want to discuss. "...mostly changed our life style." seems a too general statement.
The Internet without doubt is one of the most important inventions in modern life, maybe the one that mostly changed our life style.
The Information delivery really changed in a positive way thanks to the Internet. You can be informed about the entire world only with some clicks by reading newspapers from countries that perhaps you never heard about and also seeing their television channels. (Does not)=>No matter where you are, if you have a computer and Internet connection you can know everything important that happened in your country.
Entertainment is [[other of the good points of]]==>another advantage of the Internet. [[you can pass hours and hours explore the web and do not feel boring]]==>You can indulge yourself in exploring the Internet without feeling bored. On-line games, music, videos and all that you can imagine [[is certainly exist]]==>are inside this virtual world. However, we need to be [[carefully]]==>careful about the use of the Internet and do not become addicted to it because this (is already one)=>has become a problem in the modern society.
I consider that the other two important (facilities)=>functions of the Internet are the e-mail and e-business. E-mail is faster and cheaper than regular Post Office mail, so it inevitably became the most popular way to communicate with family or friends; therefore, the number of users continues rising. Then, we have the giant e-business, which (became)=>has become more and more popular around the world; clothes, books, cd’s (CDs), cosmetics, foods, and much more [[is ready to buy in]]==>are available on the Internet. For convenience and some times (sometimes) price, shopping on-line is the option that a lot of people choose every day.
In conclusion, I think that the invention of the Internet makes our lives easier in (different)=>many ways and is already part of our lives. [[from now we can enjoy the advantages that the Internet offer to us without became addict to it!]]==>From now on, we should try to enjoy the advantages that the Internet bring us without becoming addicted to it!
***In your article, you talk about both the change and function of the Internet. You might want to make your article more focused by making a thesis statement to include the main points that you want to discuss. "...mostly changed our life style." seems a too general statement.
B9409053 (A3)
The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life【# 2】
There are many innovations which have changed the way people go about their lives. The top one is the Internet. The Internet is widely used on business, education, entertainment and so on, it can be seen everywhere. People use the Internet every day; it [[makes large effects]]==>has a huge effect on this world.
The most conspicuous (obvious) effect is the [[information of the communication]]==>the delivery of information. The Internet has become an important means of communication. Industries deal with their business by using the Internet, for example, customers can buy products on (the)=>a company's website, or (the)=>a company can sent (send) the latest product's DM to overseas manufacturers immediately by “E-mail.” Additionally, we can know the things happened not only at our home town but also those in the world when you surf the Internet. It saves us a lot of time to get information and communicate with other people.
The globe has become smaller after the Internet appeared. With a click, you can go anywhere in the world without leaving home. You can go to class in Harvard University by "distance learning", it is a method of instruction and learning designed to overcome problems of time and space by allowing students to study in their own homes on the Internet. It is very convenient and it can save (our)=>us changed this world, and it affects our everyday lives. Without the Internet, the world will in a complete mess today. It is the most important innovation in modern life.much money and time. Moreover, maybe you will meet foreign friends in "Netnews" or "Chatroom"; this is a chance that you can make friends with foreigners. "Space" has vanished, we live in a global village. ==>Good description.
There are many innovations which have changed the way people go about their lives. The top one is the Internet. The Internet is widely used on business, education, entertainment and so on, it can be seen everywhere. People use the Internet every day; it [[makes large effects]]==>has a huge effect on this world.
The most conspicuous (obvious) effect is the [[information of the communication]]==>the delivery of information. The Internet has become an important means of communication. Industries deal with their business by using the Internet, for example, customers can buy products on (the)=>a company's website, or (the)=>a company can sent (send) the latest product's DM to overseas manufacturers immediately by “E-mail.” Additionally, we can know the things happened not only at our home town but also those in the world when you surf the Internet. It saves us a lot of time to get information and communicate with other people.
The globe has become smaller after the Internet appeared. With a click, you can go anywhere in the world without leaving home. You can go to class in Harvard University by "distance learning", it is a method of instruction and learning designed to overcome problems of time and space by allowing students to study in their own homes on the Internet. It is very convenient and it can save (our)=>us changed this world, and it affects our everyday lives. Without the Internet, the world will in a complete mess today. It is the most important innovation in modern life.much money and time. Moreover, maybe you will meet foreign friends in "Netnews" or "Chatroom"; this is a chance that you can make friends with foreigners. "Space" has vanished, we live in a global village. ==>Good description.
In conclusion, although the Internet [[takes some bad influence such as some “modern disease” and the personal privacy may be seen, but it is no doubt ]]==>has some bad influences, such as addiction to the Internt and the intrusion of personal privacy, there is no doubt that the Internet has changed this world, and it affects our everyday lives. Without the Internet, the world will in a complete mess today. It is the most important innovation in modern life.==>Good conclusion!
B9409026 (A3)
The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life(end)
I think evryone must have a computer, we use computer to do many things.And the most important [[one is the Internet]]==>function of a computer is the Internet connection. Internet (is)=>has become popular in recent years, it (effects)=>affects our life very much.Then you will ask how the internet is important?
Think about it, you use the Internet to (take)=>receive e-mails, and you can play online games (in)=>on the Internet, the most important is that you can (take)=>make friends who come from (around)=>all over the world. Even now, we have e-learning that teach me (many)=>much knowleage. And the internet (is)=>has become one of our life; we also use it to store our important date (data), and we can use it to hold a meeting. If you are a student , you must use it to finish your homework, and sometimes you may use it to find the answer (of)=>to questions.Or you can use Internet to contact your parents through MSN or Yahoo! or QQ. And if you want to hear the voice of your parents or friends, you can use the microphone. Moreover, you can use the video to see the people that you want to see.
Therefore, our [[live has become can’t depart to]]==>lives cannot be detached from the Internet. It [[effect our life]]==>affects our lives enormously. For example, when you come back to home (come back home), your first thing is [[that open]]==>turn on your computer to see your Blog or see [[your friends whether is]]==>whether your friends are online. And somebody who works maybe take computer anytime so that (they)=>he can know everything that (they want)=>he wants to know, or do (their works)==>his job. Or you can (see many)==>search much information (in)=>on the Internet so that you don’t have to go to the library. [[Maby]]==>One day if you want to learn something, you don’t have to go to the conference, you can learn that by e-learning.
There are more and more things you can do on the Internet that makes our life become very convenient, and [[let our eyesight become broad]]==>broad our views. Use of the Internet also makes our thinking free. But some effects of the Internet (is)=>are not very good. [[if you take the friend or buy something on the internet, you may be cheated, that make you lose many things.]]==>For example, you might be cheated by friends that you make on the Internet or online shopping. [[And the online game may let you drift, so that you may always play the games , and your grade or your life may be become bad.]]==>Also, you might be addicted to online games, which has a really bad influence on your grades and life. [[It's all effect us , so that we must control ourself do not let the internet destroy our life.]]==>Therefore, we should well control the use of the Internet and do not let the Internet destroy our lives. We must let the Internet become a helper of our life.
***An article with many good ideas. Try to pay attention to your grammar and the choice of words to make your ideas clearer.
I think evryone must have a computer, we use computer to do many things.And the most important [[one is the Internet]]==>function of a computer is the Internet connection. Internet (is)=>has become popular in recent years, it (effects)=>affects our life very much.Then you will ask how the internet is important?
Think about it, you use the Internet to (take)=>receive e-mails, and you can play online games (in)=>on the Internet, the most important is that you can (take)=>make friends who come from (around)=>all over the world. Even now, we have e-learning that teach me (many)=>much knowleage. And the internet (is)=>has become one of our life; we also use it to store our important date (data), and we can use it to hold a meeting. If you are a student , you must use it to finish your homework, and sometimes you may use it to find the answer (of)=>to questions.Or you can use Internet to contact your parents through MSN or Yahoo! or QQ. And if you want to hear the voice of your parents or friends, you can use the microphone. Moreover, you can use the video to see the people that you want to see.
Therefore, our [[live has become can’t depart to]]==>lives cannot be detached from the Internet. It [[effect our life]]==>affects our lives enormously. For example, when you come back to home (come back home), your first thing is [[that open]]==>turn on your computer to see your Blog or see [[your friends whether is]]==>whether your friends are online. And somebody who works maybe take computer anytime so that (they)=>he can know everything that (they want)=>he wants to know, or do (their works)==>his job. Or you can (see many)==>search much information (in)=>on the Internet so that you don’t have to go to the library. [[Maby]]==>One day if you want to learn something, you don’t have to go to the conference, you can learn that by e-learning.
There are more and more things you can do on the Internet that makes our life become very convenient, and [[let our eyesight become broad]]==>broad our views. Use of the Internet also makes our thinking free. But some effects of the Internet (is)=>are not very good. [[if you take the friend or buy something on the internet, you may be cheated, that make you lose many things.]]==>For example, you might be cheated by friends that you make on the Internet or online shopping. [[And the online game may let you drift, so that you may always play the games , and your grade or your life may be become bad.]]==>Also, you might be addicted to online games, which has a really bad influence on your grades and life. [[It's all effect us , so that we must control ourself do not let the internet destroy our life.]]==>Therefore, we should well control the use of the Internet and do not let the Internet destroy our lives. We must let the Internet become a helper of our life.
***An article with many good ideas. Try to pay attention to your grammar and the choice of words to make your ideas clearer.
B9409024 (A3)
#2 The effects of a washing machine without water
Last year a student who had graduated from the University of New South Wales innovated a washing machine which can use sunlight instead of water and washing powder to wash clothes. According to the student's design, the light in the house can operate powerful oxidants which can decompose filth into carbon dioxide and water. I think that it will be popular because it can save water, reduce the usage of washing powder, and there is the smell of sunlight on the clothes
The most important effect of the washing machine is to save water. Saving water is a very important issue. It is said that on (in) 2025 if we only depends (depend) on the source of nature, [[that population of 7000 million of world]]==>the world population of 7000 million people will face the pressure of (water of shortage)==>water shortage, even [[so the nation there are]]==>in the area where there is affluent water, such as America and China. If there are adequante solutions to the problem of (water of shortage)==>water shortage, we do not [[scare to take the bath and cultivate crops without water.]]==>have to worry about taking a bath and cultivate crops by consuming water.
The second effect of the washing machine is to reduce the usage of washing powder.We should use little washing powder owing to it causes not only the pollution of environment but also a variety of diseases. The lakes in my country are in eutrophication because of a great deal of phosphorus. In addition, the composition of surfactant in washing powder will excite (irritate) our skin and harm our health.
Another effect of the washing machine is that there is the smell of sunlight on the clothes. Having it, my clothes [[which there still are the smell of sunlight whether the weather is bad]]==>will still smell good even the wether is bad.
In conclusion, the washing machine helps a lot on the part of environmental protection no matter how to save water or reduce the pollution of environment. I believe that it will become essential in our lives. If you have a heart loving the earth, it is time to act-buying one.
***A clear and organized article. A really interesting invention!
Last year a student who had graduated from the University of New South Wales innovated a washing machine which can use sunlight instead of water and washing powder to wash clothes. According to the student's design, the light in the house can operate powerful oxidants which can decompose filth into carbon dioxide and water. I think that it will be popular because it can save water, reduce the usage of washing powder, and there is the smell of sunlight on the clothes
The most important effect of the washing machine is to save water. Saving water is a very important issue. It is said that on (in) 2025 if we only depends (depend) on the source of nature, [[that population of 7000 million of world]]==>the world population of 7000 million people will face the pressure of (water of shortage)==>water shortage, even [[so the nation there are]]==>in the area where there is affluent water, such as America and China. If there are adequante solutions to the problem of (water of shortage)==>water shortage, we do not [[scare to take the bath and cultivate crops without water.]]==>have to worry about taking a bath and cultivate crops by consuming water.
The second effect of the washing machine is to reduce the usage of washing powder.We should use little washing powder owing to it causes not only the pollution of environment but also a variety of diseases. The lakes in my country are in eutrophication because of a great deal of phosphorus. In addition, the composition of surfactant in washing powder will excite (irritate) our skin and harm our health.
Another effect of the washing machine is that there is the smell of sunlight on the clothes. Having it, my clothes [[which there still are the smell of sunlight whether the weather is bad]]==>will still smell good even the wether is bad.
In conclusion, the washing machine helps a lot on the part of environmental protection no matter how to save water or reduce the pollution of environment. I believe that it will become essential in our lives. If you have a heart loving the earth, it is time to act-buying one.
***A clear and organized article. A really interesting invention!
B9303045 (A3)
The Effects of an Invention or Innovation in Modern Life(2nd)
In the modern times, the word of “efficiency” seems to be (requiring)=>a requirment for some people. They have to get or send [[the last information of their work at the first time]]==>???. So they use the Internet not only to receive e-mails or talk to someone, but also do work on the Internet. Many people of them hope that they can [[communicate information to]]==>communicate with each other anytime and everywhere, [[because they are working or other reasons]]==>???. Therefore, the invention of Wireless Local Area Network (WLAN) was developed in the modern times.
The first effect of the WLAN on modern life is location. Some people do not always stay at the same place, but they still can use the WLAN to send files or some information to someone who living (live) in the other city or country, and will not be limited at one place. They can send it (something) in the car, in the restaurant, under a tree, or anywhere that has WLAN. They also can surf the Internet and watch the online live baseball game, when they are in the coffee shop.
The second effect of the WLAN on modern life is timing (time). For example, if we want to get some information outside, we can save much time to fine (find) a library and reach it, and use the WLAN to find what you need. Moreover, even if we are not at the office, we (also can)==>can also receive the important data at once, and handle it without delay. Besides, when you want to do some investments on the Internet, but you cannot reach home from outside or find a table computer on (at) the moment, maybe you will loss (lose) much money because you mess a change (miss a chance). But if you use the WLAN, you can do the investment right away.
Although the WLAN has not completely developed yet, we still can use the WLAN at many places. Such as at school, at a coffee shop, in a hospital, in a hotel, even on the MRT. The WLAN [[has set up]]==>is available at more and more places. Maybe someday we will send the information in the mountain, at the beach, even stand on the road if you want to.
***A fluent and organized article. But please rewriete some parts to make your ideas clearer.
In the modern times, the word of “efficiency” seems to be (requiring)=>a requirment for some people. They have to get or send [[the last information of their work at the first time]]==>???. So they use the Internet not only to receive e-mails or talk to someone, but also do work on the Internet. Many people of them hope that they can [[communicate information to]]==>communicate with each other anytime and everywhere, [[because they are working or other reasons]]==>???. Therefore, the invention of Wireless Local Area Network (WLAN) was developed in the modern times.
The first effect of the WLAN on modern life is location. Some people do not always stay at the same place, but they still can use the WLAN to send files or some information to someone who living (live) in the other city or country, and will not be limited at one place. They can send it (something) in the car, in the restaurant, under a tree, or anywhere that has WLAN. They also can surf the Internet and watch the online live baseball game, when they are in the coffee shop.
The second effect of the WLAN on modern life is timing (time). For example, if we want to get some information outside, we can save much time to fine (find) a library and reach it, and use the WLAN to find what you need. Moreover, even if we are not at the office, we (also can)==>can also receive the important data at once, and handle it without delay. Besides, when you want to do some investments on the Internet, but you cannot reach home from outside or find a table computer on (at) the moment, maybe you will loss (lose) much money because you mess a change (miss a chance). But if you use the WLAN, you can do the investment right away.
Although the WLAN has not completely developed yet, we still can use the WLAN at many places. Such as at school, at a coffee shop, in a hospital, in a hotel, even on the MRT. The WLAN [[has set up]]==>is available at more and more places. Maybe someday we will send the information in the mountain, at the beach, even stand on the road if you want to.
***A fluent and organized article. But please rewriete some parts to make your ideas clearer.
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